Gratitude: The Forgotten Virtue

It's Danke in German, Merci in French, Gracias in Spanish, Xia-xia in Chinese and Nandri in Tamil. In English, it simply means 'Thank You.'

'Thank You' - It is one of the most polite and welcome phrase in the language of love. To thank is to be grateful. And it is a happy feeling enjoyed by both the giver and the receiver. It is a virtue shared even by the animals. A dog, for example, will wag its tail upon receiving food from its master.

Even though gratitude is an act that can bring joy to our hearts, it continues to be an under-rated virtue. The increasing number of Old Folks Home, the rise in the rate of suicides and abortions are some of the dreadful consequences brought about by the lack of gratitude. At times, we too, take things for granted and fail to appreciate the efforts made by others to make our lives easier.

Why is it so necessary to have this virtue? What are the benefits of being grateful? Is it because of its sentimental value? That it makes us good to say 'Thank you'? No! The value of gratitude stretches far beyond that. It is more than giving us the happy feeling. It actually enriches our whole life and the lives of others around us as well.

Personally, being grateful helps us to appreciate life better. When we practise the art of gratitude, we become more aware of the many beautiful things in our lives. It makes us more sensitive to all the good things that life has to offer. We will no longer take things for granted. And when that happens, our lives will become brighter, more alive, and more meaninful.

There is a true story told that a certain doctor in NSW, Australia who would even prescribe a 'Thank you Cure' for some of his patients who came to him discouraged and full of negative thoughts. Now this doctor would tell his patients, "For six weeks, I want you to say 'Thank you' whenever anyone does you a favour and to show you mean it, emphasize the words with a smile." And true enough, more often than not, these patients would return to him, very much convinced that people had become more kind and friendly toward them.

The art of gratitude will not only help the person who says it but also the one who receives it(The giver). It affirms the receiver that his effort to help is not in vain but is very much acknowledged and appreciated. It strengthened his conviction that giving is indeed a worthy cause. That it pays to give. And in this respect, gratitude fosters cooperation and helps to promote the art of giving.

Last but not least, gratitude also helps in building up our faith in God. To keep our relationship with God alive, we must never stop thanking him. When we thank God, we accept the fact that he is alive and is working in our lives. And so we put our trust and confidence in him as our provider and saviour.

As a matter of fact, there is so much in life that we can be thankful for. We can thank God for our beautiful country, Malaysia, for our wonderful parents, great friends, so on and so forth. But the real test in gratitude, my friends, lies not in our ability to give thanks in good times but in bad times. When we are criticised, betrayed or persecuted, can we be thankful in these hours? For the trials that we face?

In the book 'The Song of the Bird', Fr Anthony de Mello told a wonderful story from the Middle East on the kind of attitude that we should have in facing criticisms or difficulties of life. In this story, there was a monkey up a coconut tree and being naughty, it hurled a coconut at the head of a sufi, a religious man. What was remarkable was that this man did not reacted angrily or showed any obscene signs towards the monkey despite the pain he was experiencing.

Instead, he picked the coconut up, said 'Thank you', drank the milk, ate the flesh and made a bowl from the shell. Making full use of the coconut thrown at him.

Perhaps, there is an important lesson on gratitude that we can draw here. And I sincerely believe if we can do what the sufi master did, then we can fully appreciate whatever life is throwing at us in a grateful manner.

Thank you!

(Adapted from a talk given at the Sitiawan Charismatic Renewal meeting in SFDS Church, Sitiawan, 2005)