Wednesday, November 26, 2008

How to Save on Petrol


With the average price of petrol going up and not likely to stop rising any time soon--"it's time for people to modify the way they drive," says Paul Raj, a spokesperson for the Malaysian Automobile Association (MAA). The biggest impact on your wallet will come from cutting down your car time--walk, use public transportation, and work from home when you can--but when your wheels are the only option, little tweaks can go a long way. Here, experts and real women share some tips to beat the squeeze at the petrol pump:

* Travel in packs.
"My friends and I started carpooling for convenience and time, and now we are all saving real money," says Margaret Wong, 43, from PJ. The mother of three regularly shuttles six or seven kids in her van to sporting events, church, the pool, or skateboarding club. And when she is booked on a catering job--her part-time gig--she and her coworkers meet at a commuter lot and pile into one car.

* Go gentle on the pedal.
Lisa Lim, 45, from Kajang, stretches out her visits to the petrol pump by coasting toward stopped traffic. "I look ahead to see the light turning red, take my foot off the accelerator, and let the car's momentum carry me," she says. According to Paul, aggressive driving--slamming your foot down hard on the petrol or brakes--compromises your car's fuel efficiency, as does being a speed demon. "Simply dropping your speed from 70 mph to 60 mph can improve fuel economy by up to 23 percent," she says.

* Multitask your trips.
Consolidate errands to make every car ride a multipurpose affair. "After putting the kids down, my husband or I used to get in the car just to get out of the house, the excuse being we needed petrol or aspirin," says May Lee, 45, the mother of a 5-year-old and 4-year-old triplets in KL. "But once petrol prices hit RM2.40, we made changes. Now I'll hit the pharmacy, the supermarket, Giant, and Tesco on the way home from work, then stay in for the night. We're definitely stretching out our tank."

* Watch the energy (and money) drains.
Avoid idling (Paul recommends shutting off your engine any time you're sitting in a parking space for more than 90 seconds), keep your tyres inflated (fuel efficiency drops by 2 or 3 percent when your tyres aren't full), remove the junk from your trunk (a heavier car burns more petrol), and roll up the windows and use air-conditioning on the highway (that's right--open windows actually create aerodynamic drag, burning extra petrol).

How to Keep Him From Cheating


Sometime ago, Angelina Jolie confessed she fell in love with Brad while filming "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" -- and while he was still married to Jen. Though we love Brangelina, on-the-job cheating sucks. And man-eating coworkers aren't occupational hazards just in Hollywood. Here, the top ways to prevent your guy from straying at work.

Hang with his co-workers.
When you are available, join him at social events provided by his company or actually take him up on that invite to his office holiday party. "Making friends with his colleagues turns you into a 'real' person to them," says William July, PhD, author of "Confessions of an Ex Bachelor." "The other women he works with will be more likely to hang back if they can put a face to a name." Plus, your guy will feel extra bonded as a couple if he is able to share another part of his life with you.

Ask him questions.
If your guy feels like he can't talk to you about the stuff going on at work, he'll likely turn to someone else who understands (like his cute cubemate). And although it starts innocently, that kind of emotional intimacy can lead to trouble. Make a point to ask him how a difficult project is going or if anything funny happened that day. "That way, he'll be opening up to you instead of a female colleague he's working closely with," explains July. Besides, if you're well-versed in what's going on in his world, it'll be harder for him to pull that whole "I've got a big deadline -- must work late" excuse.

Stay on his mind. It's no secret that men are visual creatures. Take advantage of his dominant sense and give him a photo of you two to place on his desk. Just make sure the pic captures a moment when you both were having a blast together (like on a skiing trip or at a concert). "The photo will have more meaning and be a constant reminder of just how much fun he has with you," says July. "Looking at it will boost his mood, and his loyalty."

WHAT TO DO IF STOPPED BY MALAYSIAN POLICE


Procedures to follow in the event you are stopped by uniformed police Officers while driving:

1. Stop the car and wind down your window.
2. If the police officers ask for your documents, request to see their
IDs first.
3. If you are satisfied about their identity, ask them if you are being
summoned, and for what offence.
4. Produce your identity card and driver's license and wait to collect
your summon ticket.

In the event that the police officers ask you to follow them to the police station:

1. Ask if you are under arrest and for what offence.
2. If you are not under arrest, you have the right to leave.

In the event you are flagged down by persons you believe could be plain clothes police:

1. Do not stop because plain clothes police officers do not have the
authority to stop you.
2. Drive to the nearest police station and lodge a report. (The same
procedure applies to pedestrians)

In the event the police come to your house:

1. Do not let them in before checking their IDs.
2. If you are not satisfied, phone the nearest police station and
confirm if they had been sent to your house.
3. You are under no obligation to allow them into the house if they
don't have a search warrant.
4. Do not go with them if you are not under arrest.

In the event persons who claimed to be plain clothes police come to your house:

1. Do not let him in because they do not have the authority to do so.
2. Lodge a report at the nearest police station.

How to Survive a Recession


Are you worried about how a recession might affect you? You can put your fears to rest because there are many everyday habits the average person can implement to ease the sting of a recession, or even make it so its effects aren't felt at all. In this article, we'll discuss seven ways to do just that.

No. 1: Have an Emergency Fund

If you have plenty of cash lying around in a high-interest, Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC)-insured account, not only will your money retain its full value in times of market turmoil, it will also be extremely liquid, giving you easy access to funds if you lose your job or are forced to take a pay cut. Also, if you have your own cash, it won't be an issue if other sources of backup funds dry up, such as a home equity line of credit.

No. 2: Always Live Within Your Means

If you make it a habit to live within your means each and every day, you are less likely to go into consumer debt when gas or food prices go up and more likely to adjust your spending in other areas to compensate. Debt begets more debt when you can't pay it off right away - if you think gas prices are high, wait until you're paying 29.99% annual percentage rate (APR) on them.

To take this principle to the next level, if you have a spouse and are a two-income family, see how close you can get to living off of only one spouse's income. In good times, this tactic will allow you to save incredible amounts of money - how quickly could you pay off your mortgage or how much earlier could you retire if you had an extra $40,000 a year to save? In bad times, if one spouse gets laid off, you'll be OK because you'll already be used to living on one income. Your savings habits will stop temporarily, but your day-to-day spending can continue as normal.

No. 3: Have More Than One Source of Income

Even if you have a great full-time job, it's not a bad idea to have a source of extra income on the side, whether it's some consulting work or selling collectibles on eBay. With job security so nonexistent these days, more jobs mean more job security. If you lose one, at least you still have the other one. You may not be making as much money as you were before, but every little bit helps.

No. 4: Have a Long-Term Mindset With Investments

So what if a drop in the market brings your investments down 15%? If you don't sell, you won't lose anything. The market is cyclical, and in the long run, you'll have plenty of opportunities to sell high. In fact, if you buy when the market's down, you might thank yourself later.

That being said, as you near retirement age, you should make sure you have enough money in liquid, low-risk investments to retire on time and give the stock portion of your portfolio time to recover. Remember, you don't need all of your retirement money at 65 - just a portion of it. The market might be tanking when you're 65, but it might be headed to Pamplona by the time you're 70.

No. 5: Be Honest About Your Risk Tolerance
Yes, investing gurus say that people in certain age brackets should have their portfolios allocated a certain way, but if you can't sleep at night when your investments are down 15% for the year and the year isn't even over, you may need to change your asset allocation. Investments are supposed to provide you with a sense of financial security, not a sense of panic.

But wait - don't sell anything while the market is down, or you'll set those paper losses in stone. When market conditions improve is the time to trade in some of your stocks for bonds, or trade in some of your risky small-cap stocks for less volatile blue-chip stocks. If you have extra cash available and want to adjust your asset allocation while the market is down, however, you may be able to profit from infusing money into temporarily low-priced stocks with long-term value.

The biggest risk is that overestimating your risk tolerance will cause you to make poor investment decisions. Even if you're at an age where you're "supposed to" have 80% in stocks and 20% in bonds, you'll never see the returns that investment advisors intend if you sell when the market is down. These asset allocation suggestions are meant for people who can hang on for the ride.

No. 6: Diversify Your Investments

If you don't have all of your money in one place, your paper losses should be mitigated, making it less difficult emotionally to ride out the dips in the market. If you own a home and have a savings account, you've already got a start: you have some money in real estate and some money in cash. In particular, try to build a portfolio of investment pairs that aren't strongly correlated, meaning that when one is up, the other is down, and vice versa (like stocks and bonds).

No. 7: Keep Your Credit Score High

When credit markets tighten, if anyone is going to get approved for a mortgage, credit card or other type of loan, it will be those with excellent credit. Things like paying your bills on time, keeping your oldest credit cards open, and keeping your ratio of debt to available credit low will help keep your credit score high.

Conclusion
The best part about these habits is that they won't only serve you well during times of recession - they'll serve you well no matter what's going on in the market. But if you implement these financial strategies, a recession is less likely to have a significant effect on your financial situation.

Monday, November 24, 2008

SQ3R - A Reading and Study Skill System


SURVEY - gather the information necessary to focus and formulate goals.
1. Read the title - help your mind prepare to receive the subject at hand.
2. Read the introduction and/or summary - orient yourself to how this chapter fits the author's purposes, and focus on the author's statement of most important points.
3. Notice each boldface heading and subheading - organize your mind before you begin to read - build a structure for the thoughts and details to come.
4. Notice any graphics - charts, maps, diagrams, etc. are there to make a point - don't miss them.
5. Notice reading aids - italics, bold face print, chapter objective, end-of -chapter questions are all included to help you sort, comprehend, and remember.

QUESTION - help your mind engage and concentrate.
One section at a time, turn the boldface heading into as many questions as you think will be answered in that section. The better the questions, the better your comprehension is likely to be. You may always add further questions as you proceed. When your mind is actively searching for answers to questions it becomes engaged in learning.

READ - fill in the information around the mental structures you've been building.
Read each section (one at a time) with your questions in mind. Look for the answers, and notice if you need to make up some new questions.

RECITE - retrain your mind to concentrate and learn as it reads.
After each section - stop, recall your questions, and see if you can answer them from memory. If not, look back again (as often as necessary) but don't go on to the next section until you can recite.

REVIEW - refine your mental organization and begin building memory.
Once you've finished the entire chapter using the preceding steps, go back over all the questions from all the headings. See if you can still answer them. If not, look back and refresh your memory, then continue.

REMEMBER: THE INFORMATION YOU GAIN FROM READING IS IMPORTANT. IF YOU JUST "DO IT" WITHOUT LEARNING SOMETHING. YOU'RE WASTING A LOT OF TIME. TRAIN YOUR MIND TO LEARN!!!

Panduan Mendengar dengan Berkesan


Mendengar dengan berkesan bermaksud dengan mata, telinga dan hati. ia melibatkan kebolehan untuk terus berdiam, mengelakkan tumpuan dan minat pada orang yang sedang bercakap. ia juga melibatkan kebolehan memahami bukan hanya pada apa yang diperkatakan, tetapi maksud diperkatakan dan perasaan orang yang memperkatakan. suatu cara menguji kebolehan mendengar ialah dengan membuat rumusan dan menyelami perasaan orang yang bercakap.

Perkara yang digalakkan :

* Duduk atau berdiri condong kearah orang yang bercakap dalam keadaan relaks.
* Pandang kearah orang yang bercakap.
* perhatikan air muka dan gerak-gerinya.
* Senyum apabila ia senyum, dan bertenang apabila cerita menyedihkan atau mengejutkan.
* Dengar apa yang diperkatakan, gaya, nada suara dan kelajuan bercakap kadangkala menyatakan sesuatu tentang perasaannya.
* Berikan galakkan supaya ia terus bercakap dengan membuat tindak balas lisan dan tidak lisan seperti mengangguk..., ya..., lepas tu..., em...

Perkara yang tidak digalakkan :

* Terlalu banyak bertanya seolah-olah menyiasat untuk kepentingan sendiri.
* Bertanya soalan 'kenapa' dalam nada seolah-olah ia bersalah.
* Menggangu atau mencelah semasa ia bercakap.
* Memberikan nasihat dan teguran.
* Menilai perbuatan sebagai salah atau betul.
* Menahan ia meluahkan perasaan sedih dan marah.
* Menyangkal atau menentang pendapatnya walaupun anda tidak bersetuju.
* Membuktikan ia bersalah atau lemah akan menyebabkan ia lebih 'defensif'.
* Tukar tajuk perbualan daripada hal lain kepada hal peribadi.

Good Human Relations


1. Speak to people
There is nothing so nice as a cheerful word of greeting

2. Smile at people

It takes 72 muscles to frown, only 14 to smile

3. Be friendly and helpful

If you would have friends, be a friend

4. Call people by name
The sweetest music to anyone's ears is the sound of his own name

5. Be cordial
Speak and act if everything you do is a genuine pleasure

6. Be genuinely interested in people

You can like almost everybody if you try

7. Be generous
With praise - cautious with critism

8. Be considerate

With the feeling of others. There are usually three sides to controversy: yours, the other person's, and the right side

9. Be alert
To give service. What counts most in life is what we do for others

10. Add to this a good sense of humour

A big dose of patience and a dash of humility, and you will be rewarded many folds

A Smile


* Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
* A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks almost instantly.
* A smile is a language even a baby understand.
* A smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away.
* A smile is a curve that sets a lot of things straights.
* It is almost impossible to smile on the outside, without feeling better on the inside.
* A smile can open a heart faster than a key can open a door.
* No smile is as beautiful as the one that struggles through the tears.
* If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
* No matter how grouch you're feeling, you will find the smile more or less healing. it grows in a wreath all around the front teeth. Thus preserving the face from congealing.
* A smile costs nothing, but gives much. It enriches those who receive, without making poorer those that give. It takes but a moment, but the memory lasts forever.
* Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.
* Smile... nobody ever added up the value of a smile: we know how much a dollar's worth; and how far is a mile; we know the distance to the sun; the size and weight of the Earth; but no one's ever told us yet, how much a smile's worth.

Friday, November 21, 2008

The Things That Make Us Happy



The Myth: We think the finer things in life will make us happy. The Reality: Most of what makes us happy is pretty prosaic.

Beauty
People like pretty. Good looks help your popularity and, by extension, your career; both boost mood. But beauty on its own doesn't do much good.

Money
If you're poor, money does make a difference. But above a threshold of about $40,000 a year, more won't make you happier. Comparisons, though, influence your state of mind: No matter how much or how little you make, doing better than your neighbor will make you feel better.

Education
In the 1950s, book learning brought happiness, but a college education no longer lifts well-being on its own. Education opens the door to a better career, but it also fosters higher expectations that may be disappointed.

Aging
Young people are more aware of bad news and negative emotions than are the elderly. Aging seems to bias us toward the positive, despite more fragile health and finances; that may be because we've come closer to reaching our goals.

Intelligence
Smarts have only a weak effect on happiness; being brainy may decrease satisfaction by raising your expectations and making you more aware of your shortcomings.

Religion
Surprisingly, churchgoers get only a small lift from the Lord. The cause: Faith fosters both community ties and social networks, which are both known to make people happier.

Free time
Well-spent leisure time can lead to great leaps in happiness: Activities that combine socializing and physical activity and require some moderate skills are the best (think salsa!). Most of us spend a lot of our leisure time watching TV, which can be relaxing; but we'd be happier if we just went bowling. Don't envy your laid-off friends; while the unemployed have more time, most have little active leisure, which is one of the reasons they're so unhappy.

Narcissism
High self-esteem protects against psychological suffering, and a little bit of narcissism is good for your mood: People with abundant self-love are less likely to be depressed, lonely or anxious.

Social skills

Friendship is one of life's main joys. Due to novelty, spending time with friends lifts your mood more than spending time with family. Being cooperative and knowing how to chat up the opposite sex are also associated with happiness.

Sense of humor

Not taking things so seriously can bring hope and happiness. People with a hopeful outlook tend to also be good at laughing.

Volunteering

In one study, volunteer and charity work generated more joy than anything except dancing. The sense of accomplishment, the social connection and the chance to do something meaningful are what make it so much fun.

5 Mistakes That Can Ruin Your Life Insurance


There are many good reasons to consider buying a life insurance policy, such as a recent marriage, a new baby, or a large debt purchase (like a mortgage) that loved ones would have trouble paying if something happened to you. Or, perhaps you have witnessed first-hand the impact a death has on a surviving family's finances. If you're in the market for life insurance or have recently bought a policy, make sure you don't put your family's finances in jeopardy by making these mistakes. (Read about whether you need life insurance and if so, how much you should get in How Much Life Insurance Should You Carry?)

Mistake No.1 - Waiting to Buy Insurance

Regardless of the reason, it's important to take action as soon as you feel a policy is required. Life insurance rates generally increase as people age or their health deteriorates. And, in some cases, illnesses or health problems may make you ineligible for coverage. The longer you put off the buying decision the more the insurance will probably cost - if you can buy it at all.

Mistake No.2 - Buying the Cheapest Policy
While it is important to shop for a policy that's priced in line with the rest of the marketplace, that should not be the sole consideration in your decision-making process. Life insurance policies can be a bit complicated, so it's a good idea to learn about policy features and benefits.

Many people mistakenly believe that price is the only differentiator for term life insurance. However, there are important policy provisions that you should investigate before going with the lowest price.

Most term policies are "convertible," meaning they may be exchanged for a permanent type of life insurance policy at a later date regardless of your future health. Some policies also offer more generous conversion privileges than others. Get an understanding of how long the conversion option is available; the most generous conversion privileges are available for as long as you pay term policy premiums or to a specific age, such as 70. Also, make sure to find out if there are any restrictions on the type of policy available for purchase under the conversion privilege. Some policies offer just one type of permanent policy at conversion, while others offer several. (Keep reading about term life insurance in What is term insurance?)

Mistake No.3 - Making Late or Missed Payments
If you're considering buying a universal life policy with secondary guarantees - low-premium guaranteed death benefits for life or for a specified period of time - a late payment can have an impact on policy benefits.

Universal life is a special type of permanent policy that has been marketed as having long-term guaranteed protection at the lowest possible rate - it is very different from term insurance. While many of these types of policies have cash surrender value, universal life with secondary guarantees focuses on maximizing the amount of insurance available per dollar of premium.

Some of these policies can be sensitive to the timing of premium payments. For example, if you happen to miss a monthly payment - or are more than a month late sending in your check - your guaranteed policy may no longer be guaranteed. A policy purchased with guaranteed coverage to age 100 might only provide protection to age 92 if one premium payment is late or missed. Be sure to check with your company if you think you're going to be late on a payment; many will allow 30 to 60 days without changing the policy's guarantee.

Mistake No.4 - Forgetting Insurance Is an Investment

The Financial Industry Regulatory Authority (FINRA) considers a variable life insurance policy an investment, so it is important for you to treat it as one too.

A variable life insurance policy is a permanent type of policy that provides life insurance protection with cash value. Part of the premium goes toward life insurance, and part goes into a cash value account that is invested into various mutual fund-like investments you choose. Like mutual funds, the value of these accounts fluctuates and is based on the performance of the underlying investments. People often look to these policy values in the future as a source of funds to supplement their retirement income. (To learn more, see What is variable life insurance?)

You must fund a variable life policy sufficiently to maximize its cash value growth. This means continuing to make adequate premium payments, especially during times of poor investment returns. Paying less than originally planned can have a big impact on the cash value available to you in the future. It's also important to monitor your policy's performance and periodically "rebalance" your accounts to your desired allocation, just as you would with any investment account. This will help ensure you're not taking on more risk than you had planned when you set up your account.

Mistake No.5 - Borrowing From Your Policy

The cash value of a permanent policy can generally be used for any reason you see fit, including tax-free withdrawals and loans, if done properly. This is a great benefit, but it must be carefully managed. If you take too much money out of your policy and your policy "lapses", or runs out of money, all the gains you've taken out will become taxable.

If you have taken too much money out and your policy is about to lapse, you may be able to maintain the policy by making additional premium payments, assuming you can afford them. When accessing your life insurance policy's cash value, be sure to monitor it closely and consult your tax advisor for guidance to avoid any unwanted tax liability.

Conclusion

The decision to buy life insurance is an important one. Make sure you do your homework, read your policy and understand all of its provisions. While losing or never buying life insurance may not ruin your life, it will certainly hurt those people who you're buying it for.

5 Reasons Why You Guys Are Still Single


Do you find yourself wondering why most of your buddies have steady dates, yet you can barely secure a first date, let alone a second (and, playing a regular game of Mahjong and Canasta with your grandparents and their friends doesn't count)? Guys, if so, it's time to ask yourself a few Foxy questions...

Do you... have a problem with eye contact?
Even if you love everything about this other person, it won't matter, if you can't take your eyes off their body parts. They'll likely think you're out for one thing, or that you're just kind of creepy. Sure, they might be wearing something revealing, but that's no excuse to stare all night long. Get a grip and get comfortable with eye contact, which creates a much better bond.

Do you... eat like a caveman? Utensils are there for a reason -- so you can eat like a gentleman. Shoveling food into your mouth is not something you should subject your date to. Same goes for talking while chewing. Not only is it unpleasant to watch at a time when your job is to be easy on the eyes, it's a red flag that says you're a little short on self-awareness -- an important characteristic in a mate.

Do you... trim your toenails? Not that your date will necessarily see your toenails right away, but when they do end up eyeballing them, unkept toenails are a guaranteed huge turnoff. It means you don't take care of yourself, and valuing yourself is an important part of a healthy relationship. Plus, let's not forget the damage they can do to the other person's leg when you're snuggling up on the sofa watching movies.

Do you... order "everything on the side" at a restaurant? In other words, do you order like a girl? Please don't. Because if your date has to be tortured by, "I'll have the Cobb salad, but no cheese, avocado, or bacon, and dressing on the side, and the pasta, but no oil please, and extra light on the pinenuts," they may be forced to hide under the table or at least wonder what kind of demanding partner you could be. If you have dietary restrictions, do your best, just don't get into what will happen to your belly if you don't follow them.

Do you... assume you're going to strike out? The Secret said it once but we'll say it again: In a lot of ways, you manifest your own destiny. So, if you have lots of thoughts about being unlucky in love, you may be pushing people away in ways you may not even know. If you assume the worst of the world and yourself, spend a few minutes before your date making a mental list of why you're looking for a relationship and why you are an incredible a catch.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Back to school


GOING back to school after a long break can be stressful for both parents and children. Besides shopping for school necessities, parents and children need to readjust themselves to getting back into the routine when school re-opens.

While it may be easier with older children who are experienced enough in coping with preparations to return to school, some extra effort and attention are required with children going to school for the very first time.

Children going to preschool or entering primary or even secondary school for the first time tend to have anxieties related to changes in their environment – new school, new teachers, new friends.

For toddlers and preschoolers, it means being separated from their caregivers, their familiar surroundings and their favourite toys.

Parents should prepare well ahead of time to help their children gear up for school. Start shopping early for all the supplies such as textbooks, stationery, school uniforms, bags and shoes.

Prepare a simple checklist of all the things your children need. Better still, if your children are old enough, ask them to make the list. Once the list is ready, go shopping with them and make it fun.

Involving children in these tasks helps prepare them mentally for school or look forward to going back again.

Purchase some activity books and games that are related to what your children have learnt to help refresh their memory. It becomes easier for them to reapply the knowledge when they get back to school.

For younger children who are going to school for the first time, this new experience could be both exciting and daunting. Some may be excited and view it as a new ‘adventure’ while others will be reluctant to leave their comfort zone.

Get storybooks or movies about going to school to help them imagine the experience and learn what to expect.

Visit the school with them or if the school has organised an open day, use the opportunity to get familiarised with the school surroundings and let your children learn where the classroom, toilets, playground and cafeteria are located.

Some kindergartens organise a field trip to a primary school for their graduating pre-schoolers.

This way, the children can observe and learn about the general set-up of a primary school, or even role-play a typical classroom scene to develop better awareness of the new environment they will be in the next year.

Find out if your children’s preschool has such an activity or you could suggest it to them.

Share with them your own good experiences about going to school. Tell them about the fun they could have with other children, and all the interesting activities and lessons the teacher will be teaching.

Start getting them into a routine that is like the one during school. Get them to bed and up at the same times as they would if it was a school day.

Their body rhythms will reset to the new routine and they will have more energy those first few mornings because it has become part of their regular day.

It also helps you to estimate how much time it will take to get them ready and out the door.

You, too, will sleep better and awake refreshed minus the stress of last-minute shopping and knowing that you are prepared for the tears and fears if they creep up on you and your children.

Cultivate a love for books


WHEN it comes to reading, our sons often get left behind. They may not share the love of reading that their sisters and female classmates do, and they may not even realise what they are missing.

If your son complains that reading is dull or boring, doesn’t enjoy reading on his own, and seems to simply hate the very idea, there may still be hope.

With some added effort and attention on your part, your son may very well learn to love reading.

This article provides a variety of ways to encourage your son to cultivate a reading habit, however reluctant he may at first appears.

» Match books to his interests

Does your child love bugs, soccer, or aeroplanes? It may be time for a trip to the library.

Invest some time to learn about your son’s interests, and then match books appropriately. He may enjoy non-fiction books about bugs, for example, or the newest young adult novel about a boy who enjoys soccer.

If you have no idea where to begin, ask your local librarian for help. He or she will most likely be able to suggest just the book you need, and may be of great help in picking out future books, as well.

» Use your funny bone

Encourage your child to read by showing them books of jokes, riddles, or comics. The humour involved may be key to getting him to enjoy reading.

Your best bets are the books that make you cringe at their very existence – remember, this is all for your son, so 301 Best Bathroom Jokes may be just what the doctor ordered. At least he’s reading something!

» Introduce how-to books
If there’s a skill your son has been wanting to learn, such as camping, cooking, or magic tricks, he may be pleasantly surprised to learn that there are books available on the subject.

The next time you hear "I wish I knew how to ...", make a trip to the library with him.

He’ll learn that books hold useful knowledge and are a great resource for learning new skills.

Model this behaviour, as well, by visiting books for information that you need to accomplish your day-to-day tasks.

» Introduce a series
If you can get your son interested in a character, such as Encyclopaedia Brown or Harry Potter, he may be more interested to read more than one book.

Sometimes, the desire to find out what happens next is stronger than the dislike of reading, and the child learns that reading can be interesting and fun.

Serial books provide continuity and familiar characters, something that children usually enjoy.

» Plan an assessment
If your son truly struggles with reading or learning to read, it may be time to schedule an assessment of his learning abilities.

A learning disability could be the hidden culprit that is making reading so difficult for him.

Skills assessments sometimes make all the difference in your child’s struggle, so if you think a disability may be possible, be sure to schedule one.

As a parent, it can be difficult to find the time to consistently reinforce the value of reading. However, taking the time to do so is vitally important.

Reading is a gateway to learning, entertainment, and adventure.

Without your influence, your son may never find the joy that you have in reading. However, if you take the time to intervene, you may find that he is not only reading, he is excited about it!

This is a great opportunity to make a difference as a parent. Take advantage of it!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Attractive Male Body Language


Although many guys have terrible body language which may put women off, by simply learning a few secrets, you can instantly make a greater impression, allowing you to stand out from the crowd. It is possible for any man to become more attractive through many ways, but body language is one of the most important factors to boost your attractiveness and make a more striking first impression.

The six secrets you need to know:
1. Plant yourself when standing still.
Place your feet slightly wider apart than natural, this will stop you from shifting your weight. Notice how your feet feel planted. You will feel much more stable allowing you to stand for longer periods of time, and appear stronger. This technique is used by martial artists, as a solid base increases your balance and ability to deal with anything that comes your way.

2. Do not touch your face, fidget, or fiddle.
How do you normally hold your hands? Twitching and fidgeting makes you look nervous, which is usually unattractive to the sub-conscious mind. The best way to learn this is to go out and observe, as its easier to see it in other people. If you have trouble stopping your “nervous twitch” try keeping your hands by your sides with your thumbs placed between the index and middle fingers on each hand. This should remove, or at least reduce, the need for your fingers to constantly be doing something.

3. Whatever you do, don’t look down.
Just like when you are hanging off a cliff! Keep your head held upright. If you feel the need to look away, look up or sideways, but never look down! Looking down is a proven sign of weakness and submission, which is generally a killer in the dating game.

4.Make slow head movements.
Men of high status everywhere: on film, in business, and in your social circle all have certain traits in common. One of these is slow, smooth movements. Don't jerk and jolt your head around as though you've been drinking caffeine all day, instead look around slowly and smoothly. Smoothness and lack of fidgety movements are the main factors.

5.Walk more slowly and smoothly.
This makes you come across more high-status. A sense of quiet confidence is given off just by behaving more comfortable and smoothly. When out in a bar or club, slow it down even more and you will stand out from other people who are rushing around franticly... remember, you are important enough that people will wait for you, you don’t need to hurry...

6. Don’t hold a drink in front of your chest
Whilst holding a drink, hold it down by your side, or somewhere other then in front of your chest. In body language, this is a blocking / defensive posture that causes you to appear weak.

Start carrying out these 6 simple tips and you will instantly make a better first impression allowing you to stand out from the other men in a room. It may take a little time and adjustment to stop habits that you have been building for potentially many years, but it only takes practice catching yourself "breaking the rules."

How to Be a Total Man-Magnet


Dating tip #1: Go out in groups of no bigger than three. Larger groups of girls are supertough (read: intimidating) to approach. Three is a good number because your two friends can keep each other company when a guy walks up to chat with you.

Dating tip #2: Smile genuinely. So obvious, right? But I can't stress it enough -- and I can't believe I ever acted aloof in an attempt to seem more cool. Now I know that women smile all the time naturally (when we're nervous, when we're trying to be polite, etc.), so if you don't do it at all, you look unapproachable.

Dating tip #3: Work the eye contact. To reel him in from across the room, tilt your chin down a bit and flash him a couple of sultry glances. (Guys love it when you look up at them -- it makes them feel manly.) If the guy across the room is so gorgeous you have a hard time looking straight at him and are simply too nervous, fake it by focusing on the tiny area right between his eyes. He won't be able to tell the difference.

Dating tip #4: Don't immediately ask him what he does. Some men think all women are gold diggers. A lot of my clients hated being asked what their job is. It's that fear-of-being-used thing again.

Dating tip #5: Make positive small talk. Once I started studying other women, I couldn't believe how negative some of us appear. When you're out on the town, you're supposed to be having fun, and any complaint ("It's hot in here!"), pessimism ("There will definitely be another terrorist attack"), or snarky quip ("Look at that chick's belt -- so 2002!") pretty much pokes a hole in the fun-girl aura you should be projecting. Some better small-talk topics: recent vacations, favorite bands, hilarious movies. You can hit him with your deep, dark world-view some other time

Monday, November 17, 2008

Money matters


WE’VE all seen them – adults who have no idea how to manage their money.

While it’s easy to look down our noses at them as they take out their third mortgage to make payments on their SUV, we should stop and think about where they learned their financial attitudes.

We may realise that our children could be close behind if we don’t teach them how to manage their money wisely.

Financially-savvy children grow up to be well-off adults, so it is an excellent idea to teach your children about money.

Children learn their financial attitudes and skills from their most important teachers – their parents.

Your childre are watching you every day. Take the time to educate them about the value of money, what credit is all about and how to be thrifty and save money for a rainy day.

Take the time to explain to them that each action is a financial choice, one that you are making so that you have more money for things that are on the top of your priority list for the family.

Along with teaching your children about money, take the time to teach them about work, as well. Let them see that you work hard for the money you earn.

When they ask you to purchase frivolous items, explain to them that you will have to work a number of hours to pay for it. Would they rather have the item, or more time with you?

It’s important for your children to learn about the exchange of time for money, so that they realise that money doesn’t just magically appear.

Teach your children that money is finite. Help them to understand that they must make choices about how to spend their money.

Remind them that this applies to their mummy and daddy as well.

Demonstrate to them how to purchase items on sale, clip coupons, and purchase quality items for the best possible price. Doing so will help them to learn the value of the ringgit and how to make their money stretch as far as possible.

Make rules in your home on how money is handled and spent. When your child receives money, either as a gift, an allowance, or by working for it, teach them about saving and spending.

Open a savings account for them, and make it a requirement that a predetermined percentage of all their money be put into it. Let them set a goal to save for, but be sure to reinforce the act of saving.

By doing so, you’ll be teaching your children a skill that many adults have not yet learned – and a valuable one, at that!

As your children grow, allow them to take on odd jobs suitable for their age level, such as walking dogs or mowing grass. You’ll be providing them with a sense of responsibility and ownership by allowing them to earn their own money.

You may be surprised at how reluctant they are to spend it, once it’s earned. It’s much easier to spend money that is given to you than to spend your own money that you’ve worked hard for.

You may find that children are quick learners and the earlier you teach them the rudiments of money management, the better it is for them when they become adults.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Persidangan Guru Bimbingan dan Kaunseling Peringkat Kebangsaan Ke-3

PERSIDANGAN Guru Bimbingan dan Kaunseling Peringkat Kebangsaan ke-3 selama empat hari di Melaka yang berakhir 6 November lalu, sebulat suara meluluskan enam resolusi untuk dipanjangkan kepada Kementerian Pelajaran bagi pertimbangan dan tindakan susulan.

Resolusi itu adalah memohon kepada kementerian melengkapkan kemudahan teknologi maklumat (ICT) seperti komputer riba dengan talian internet, di semua Unit Bimbingan dan Kaunseling setiap sekolah di seluruh negara.

Selain itu, meminta kementerian mengkaji semula peruntukan Bantuan Perkapita Unit Kaunseling dengan kadar RM 4.50 seorang kepada RM20 dan menyediakan peruntukan khas bagi menaiktaraf bilik serta kemudahan unit berkenaan untuk kesejahteraan murid.

Turut diluluskan, permohonan mewujudkan sub-unit bimbingan dan kaunseling di Sektor Hal Ehwal Murid di Kementerian Pelajaran, selain di Sektor Pengurusan Pembangunan Kemanusiaan di jabatan pelajaran negeri serta Pegawai Bimbingan dan Kaunseling di pejabat pelajaran daerah.

Persidangan juga memohon kementerian menyediakan peruntukan khas bagi tujuan latihan peningkatan profesionalisme guru terbabit di peringkat daerah, negeri, kebangsaan dan antarabangsa (Program Pengantarabangsaan Sekolah).

Resolusi terakhir adalah memohon agar jawatan kaunselor Gred Terbuka di Bahagian Psikologi dan Kaunseling di peringkat kementerian, JPN dan daerah dikhususkan kepada guru memiliki latar belakang bidang berkenaan kerana lebih memahami dan menjiwai keperluan pelajar yang memerlukan perkhidmatan kaunseling.

Yang Dipertua Majlis Guru Kaunseling Kebangsaan, Zam Zam Omar, berkata resolusi itu diserahkan kepada Menteri Pelajaran, Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Hussien pada majlis penutupan persidangan berkenaan di Pusat Dagangan Antarabangsa Melaka.

Selain itu, Zam Zam berkata, kira-kira 500 peserta persidangan juga menyatakan iltizam kepada kementerian untuk terus memberi perkhidmatan bimbingan dan kaunseling secara profesional dalam suasana kondusif.

"Disamping itu, kami juga akan terus menggembleng seluruh tenaga, usaha dan kepakaran bagi menjadi peneraju utama dalam membangunkan modal insan yang mempunyai kepintaran emosi tinggi dan berakhlak mulia.

"Kami juga akan terus memikul tanggungjawab melaksanakan dasar, operasi, proses dan prosedur Kementerian Pelajaran dalam merealisasi Pelan Induk Pembangunan Pendidikan," katanya.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Where Do America's Happiest People Work?


Career isn't the only factor in determining someone's overall happiness, but it's certainly a major contributor. So, what kind of jobs do the happiest people in the U.S. have? And, what about these jobs contributes to overall happiness in life? A University of Chicago study, "Job Satisfaction in the United States," offers some insight.
The study says the occupations where people report being happy overall, not just in terms of job satisfaction, involve helping others, technical and scientific expertise, or creativity.

Tom W. Smith, director of the General Social Survey at the National Opinion Research Center at UC, elaborates: "Happiness is determined by how much satisfaction you get from all domains of life, and work is an important domain, so it's one of the major components of overall happiness."

According to the study, the top occupations in general happiness are:

1. Clergy
Job Description: Conduct religious worship and perform spiritual functions associated with beliefs and practices of religious faith or denomination.

Very happy: 67.2%
Median salary*: $44,102

2. Firefighters
Job Description: Control and extinguish fires, protect life and property and conduct rescue efforts.

Very happy: 57.2%
Median salary: $45,553

3. Transportation, ticket, and reservation agents such as travel agents
Job Description: Travel agents plan and sell transportation and accommodations for travel agency customers.

Very happy: 56.5%
Median hourly rate (travel agents): $14.23

4. Architects
Job Description: Plan and design structures, such as private residences, office buildings, theaters, factories, and other structural property.

Very happy: 53.5%
Median salary: $54,079

5. Special education teachers
Job Description: Teach school subjects to educationally and physically handicapped students.

Very happy: 52.6%
Median salary (preschool, kindergarten or elementary school): $41,344
Median salary (secondary school): $43,060

6. Actors and directors
Job Description: Actors play parts in stage, television, radio, video, or motion picture productions for entertainment, information, or instruction.

Very happy: 51.0%
Salary varies greatly

7. Science technicians
Job Description: Use principles and theories of science and mathematics to solve problems in research and development, and to help invent and improve products and processes.

Very happy: 51.0%
Median salary (research scientists): $72,435

8. Miscellaneous mechanical and repairing occupations
Job Description: Automotive service technicians and mechanics diagnose, adjust, repair, or overhaul automotive vehicles.

Very happy: 53.6%**
Median hourly rate (mechanics/auto tune up): $15.26

9. Industrial engineers
Job Description: Design, develop, test, and evaluate integrated systems for managing industrial production processes.

Very happy: 48.4%
Median salary: $61,729

10. Airline pilots and navigators
Job Description: Airline pilots, copilots, and flight engineers pilot and navigate the flight of multi-engine aircraft in regularly scheduled service for transport of passengers and cargo.

Very happy: 49.1%
Median hourly rate (airline pilots, copilots, or flight engineers): $63

The Contentment Sources


So what is it about these occupations that spurs happiness?

The Rev. Dr. Rick Wright says he enjoys helping people and being creative.

"With ministry I get to tie in my fundamental beliefs about God and life with what I do all day. So I get to work with people and assist them. And in ordained ministry I think it's a bit unique in that people will open up to you because you are a priest/pastor and share who they really are inside," explains Wright, senior associate rector at The Falls Church in Virginia.

Stephen Moon, an architect with The Beck Group in Atlanta, says an important part of his happiness is due to his employer expanding his experience, and letting him have access to the construction and development sides of the business.

Melissa Benedict, a research scientist at The Nathan S. Kline Institute for Psychiatric Research in Orangeburg, N.Y., says she likes helping others: "If we can help just one person with the research we're doing, that's really rewarding. Hopefully it will help more people in the long run. ? A lot of times with research you don't get that, so when you can help it really makes a difference."

*All salary data are from PayScale.com and show median salary or hourly rate for each profession for workers with 5-9 years of experience.
**For an explanation of study rankings and percentages, see "Job Satisfaction in the United States," footnote 3, page 1.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Stress leads to fat



MILLIONS of poor children in the US may be getting fat before age 10 because their mothers are stressed out and the youngsters seek escape in unhealthy comfort food, researchers said.

The stress is rooted in poverty and can be brought on by money woes, work loads, insufficient health insurance and other factors, said Craig Gundersen of the University of Illinois, who led the study.

"People will eat in response to feeling stress," he said in a telephone interview, and in this case children may be eating more in response to stress-related trouble at home.

The findings show there is a need for a firm social safety net for poor families with protections such as food stamps, better financial education to help people better manage money, and adequate health insurance coverage, he said.

Gundersen and colleagues at Iowa State University and Michigan State University looked at data on 841 children in families living below the poverty line who were part of a government nutrition survey conducted from 1999 to 2002.

"We found that the cumulative stress experienced by the child’s mother is an important determinant of child overweight," the research team reported in a study published in the recent issue of Pediatrics.

Because most American children do not live in settings where food is scarce, the findings on maternal stress "may be an important factor for children in the United States who are overweight or obese".

"A number of mothers in this study suffer from at least one symptom of depression and anxiety.

"By providing these women with relevant medical care and counselling, these symptoms may be alleviated with the further indirect benefit of reducing childhood overweight," the researchers concluded. – Reuters

How Ex-Presidents & Prime Ministers Make Their Money

Upon taking up residency in the White House, a president also assumes a tidy salary of $400,000 a year, plus extra cash for expenses. That’s certainly not the kind of change you’d find under most couch cushions, but it’s not such a princely sum that the president will be set for life when leaving office. While many leaders are either independently rich enough or old enough that they just retire after leaving office, others are desperate to make a buck or a pound. So how do ex-presidents and other former world leaders support themselves as they while away the autumn of their years?

Harry Truman:
When Truman’s presidency ended in 1953, he headed home to Independence, Missouri, but there was a nagging problem: he didn’t have any money. His business interests from prior to his political life hadn’t generated any sort of savings for him, and he thought that taken a corporate position or endorsing products would cheapen the presidency. His only income was a $112-a-month army pension, so he did what former presidents now do without thinking: he sold his memoirs. Truman received a $670,000 deal for the two-volume memoirs, but after taxes and paying his assistants, he only netted a few thousand dollars on the project. Things got so dire that Congress passed the Former Presidents Act in 1958, which gave retired commanders in chief pensions of $25,000 a year. At least his health insurance was eventually covered; when Lyndon Johnson signed Medicare into law in 1965, he presented President Truman and his wife, Bess, with the first two Medicare cards.

Jimmy Carter:
Carter famously rose to the presidency from humble roots as a Georgia peanut farmer, but when he assumed office he placed his business and farming issues in a blind trust to avoid any potential conflicts of interest. It was a noble act, but it didn’t play out so well for Carter; when he resumed control of his assets, he was a million dollars in debt. He needed dough, so he started writing. And writing. Although he’s known for his work with Habitat for Humanity and his willingness to go on global diplomatic missions, Carter is a shockingly prolific author of over 20 books. Some of his tomes are standard memoirs and political texts, but Carter’s also penned children’s books, a volume of poetry, a historical novel, and Bible-study guides.

Bill Clinton:
Hillary Clinton may not have won the Democratic presidential nomination, but the Clinton family shouldn’t be standing in any bread lines in the foreseeable future. Bill Clinton pulls in $250,000 to give a speech, which has been a fairly lucrative racket for him. A 2007 report in the British newspaper The Independent estimated Clinton’s earnings from speeches alone at somewhere in the neighborhood of $40 million since he left office six years earlier. Clinton also sold his memoir My Life to Knopf for $15 million, and he serves as an advisor for the private equity firm Yucaipa Companies, a post that has pulled in at least $12.6 million. When the Clintons released their tax data in April as part of Hillary’s campaign disclosures, they showed income of $109 million since leaving the White House.

Margaret Thatcher:
Although declining health has slowed her down lately, Thatcher was fairly busy after stepping down as Prime Minister in 1990. She remained in the House of Commons until 1992. She received the title Baroness Thatcher that year, which got her a spot in the House of Lords. Thatcher also penned a two-volume memoir, The Path to Power and The Downing Street Years, which hit the New York Times’ best-seller lists in 1993 and 1994. On top of that, she served as Chancellor of the College of William and Mary from 1993 to 2000 and penned the international relations text Statecraft: Strategies for a Changing World in 2002. All of this work must have left Thatcher pretty set; after all, she has given Cambridge two million pounds to endow a chair in her name.

John Major:
Thatcher’s successor as Prime Minister has had a decidedly more low-key life since leaving the post in 1997. As an avid cricket fan, he served as the president of the Surrey County Cricket Club from 2000 to 2001 and has been on the Committee of the Marylebone Cricket Club since 2005. He also joined the private equity firm the Carlyle Group’s European Advisory Board in 1998 and supposedly rakes in 25,000 pounds for each speech he gives on the lecture circuit.

Tony Blair:
Like Bill Clinton, Blair got a book advance that ensured he wouldn’t have to hit up any of his friends for a pound or two from time to time. In October 2007 the New York Times reported that Random House purchased Blair’s memoir for a staggering $9 million. Or rather, they purchased the rights to the memoir once it’s written; despite receiving the gigantic advance, Blair’s spokesman admitted that the former Prime Minister hadn’t gotten a chance to “put pen to paper” when he signed the deal. On top of the sweet advance, Blair’s also pulling in cash as an advisor on climate change for Zurich Insurance and as a senior advisor for JPMorgan, both of which have been reported as six-figure-a-year jobs. He’s also making 500,000 pounds for a series of speeches and will teach a course on faith and globalization at Yale this year.

Monday, November 3, 2008

12 simple ways to supercharge your brain




Here are some things you can begin doing as soon as today to begin the great brain tune up:

Eat Almonds
Almond is believed to improve memory. If a combination of almond oil and milk is taken together before going to bed or after getting up at morning, it strengthens our memory power. Almond milk is prepared by crushing the almonds without the outer cover and adding water and sugar to it.

Drink Apple Juice
Research from the University of Massachusetts Lowell (UML) indicates that apple juice increases the production of the essential neurotransmitter acetylcholine in the brain, resulting in an increased memory power.

Sleep well
Research indicates that the long-term memory is consolidated during sleep by replaying the images of the experiences of the day. These repeated playbacks program the subconscious mind to store these images and other related information.

Enjoy simple Pleasures
Stress drains our brainpower. A stress-ridden mind consumes much of our memory resources to leave us with a feeble mind. Make a habit to engage yourself in few simple pleasures everyday to dissolve stress from your mind. Some of these simple pleasures are good for your mind, body and soul.
*Enjoy music you love
*Play with your children
*Run few miles a day, bike or swim
*Start a blog
*Take a yoga class or Total Wellness routine

Exercise your mind
Just as physical exercise is essential for a strong body, mental exercise is equally essential for a sharp and agile mind. Have you noticed that children have far superior brainpower than an adult does? Children have playful minds. A playful mind exhibits superior memory power. Engage in some of the activities that require your mind to remain active and playful.
*Play scrabble or crossword puzzle
*Volunteer
*Interact with others
*Start a new hobby such as blogging, reading, painting, bird watching
*Learn new skill or a foreign language

Practice Yoga or Meditation
Yoga or Meditation relives stress. Stress is a known memory buster. With less stress, lower blood pressure, slower respiration, slower metabolism, and released muscle tension follows. All of these factors contribute significantly towards increases in our brainpower.

Reduce Sugar intake
Sugar is a non-food. It’s a form of carbohydrate that offers illusionary energy, only to cause a downhill slump once the initial burst has been worn off. Excess intake of sugar results in neurotic symptoms. Excess sugar is known to cause claustrophobia, memory loss and other neurotic disorders. Eat food without adding sugar. Stay away from sweet drinks or excess consumption of caffeine with sugar.

Eat whole wheat
The whole wheat germs contain lecithin. Lecithin helps ease the problem of the hardening of the arteries, which often impairs brain functioning.

Eat a light meal at night
A heavy meal at night causes tossing and turning and a prolonged emotional stress while at sleep. It’s wise to eat heavy meal during the day when our body is in motion to consume the heavy in-take. Eating a light meal with some fruits allows us to sleep well. A good night sleep strengthens our brainpower.

Develop imagination
Greeks mastered the principle of imagination and association to memorize everything. This technique requires one to develop a vivid and colorful imagination that can be linked to a known object. If you involve all your senses - touching, feeling, smelling, hearing and seeing in the imagination process, you can remember greater details of the event.

Control your temper
Bleached food, excess of starch or excess of white bread can lead to nerve grating effect. This results in a violent and some time depressive behavior. Eat fresh vegetables. Drink lots of water and meditate or practice yoga to relieve these toxic emotions of temper and stressful mood swings.

Take Vitamin B-complex
Vitamin B-complex strengthens memory power. Eat food and vegetables high in Vitamin B-complex. Stay away from the starch food or white bread, which depletes the Vitamin B-complex necessary for a healthy mind.

I don't believe these are that tough. If you find yourself increasing stumped, give a couple of these a try.

Workout for the brain



SEARCHING the Internet may help middle-aged and older adults keep their memories sharp, US researchers said.

Researchers at the University of California Los Angeles studied people doing Web searches while their brain activity was recorded with functional magnetic resonance imaging scans.

"What we saw was people who had Internet experience used more of their brain during the search," Dr Gary Small, a UCLA expert on ageing, said. "This suggests that just searching on the Internet may train the brain – that it may keep it active and healthy," said Small, whose research appears in the American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry.

Many studies have found that challenging mental activities such as puzzles can help preserve brain function, but few have looked at what role the Internet might play.

"This is the first time anyone has simulated an Internet search task while scanning the brain," Small said.

"We found that in reading the book task, the visual cortex – the part of the brain that controls reading and language – was activated. In doing the Internet search task, there was much greater activity, but only in the Internet-savvy group."

He said it appears that people who are familiar with the Internet can engage in a much deeper level of brain activity. "There is something about Internet searching where we can gauge it to a level that we find challenging."

In the ageing brain, atrophy and reduced cell activity can take a toll on cognitive function. Activities that keep the brain engaged can preserve brain health and thinking ability.

Small thinks learning to do Internet searches may be one of those activities. "It tells us we probably can teach an old brain new Internet tricks," he said. – Reuters

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Eight New Love Truths You Must Know



Spending time apart strengthens your bond. Sure, it's important to hang out with your guy. But experts now know that it's almost as important not to hang out with him every so often. "When you take time away from each other, it gives you both the opportunity to collect new thoughts, new stories, and new ideas to share," says Jennifer Oikle, PhD, dating coach for Coupling Connection. But the benefits extend beyond having novel tidbits of conversation. "When you're with someone in the moment, you're not really spending time thinking about them," says Debbie Magids, PhD, coauthor of "All the Good Ones Aren't Taken." "When you're distanced, you really think about the person and yearn for them, and you look forward to seeing them again."

Your inkling that something is wrong in the relationship is probably right. By nature of being a woman, you have a keen intuition, so you'll feel any kind of distancing on a visceral level pretty quickly. And unless you're an overly suspicious or insecure person -- you know who you are! -- you should always trust your gut. Example: He's incommunicado. Before the days of emailing, texting, IMing, and Facebooking, if you didn't hear from your boyfriend for a day or two, it wasn't the end of the world (or your relationship). But now that communication is so easy and instant, it's usually a sign he's not fully invested.
"When a guy wants to break up, he'll often start to create space," says Oikle. In other words, he'll stop calling quite as much, it will take him a bit longer to return your texts or emails, and he'll sometimes be "too busy" to hang out. "For the record, if a guy is into you, he'll never be too busy," says Paul Coleman, PsyD, author of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Intimacy."
If the pattern continues, confront your man about his behavior in a direct yet nonaccusatory way, saying something like "You haven't called me, and I'm thinking that means you're having second thoughts about us." If he doesn't give you a clear answer, well, let's just say he's giving you a clear answer.

If a man has a history of cheating on his girlfriends, he'll probably cheat on you too. Sometimes a guy cheats on his partner because there is an emotional or physical void in the relationship. But more often than not, philandering is indicative of something wrong with him. According to Jay Carter, PsyD, author of "Nasty Men," many guys two-time because they love the thrill of the chase, they need to feed their ego, or they have a hard time turning down a woman when the opportunity presents itself.
All those factors contribute to serial straying, "which is why men who cheat once usually cheat again," says Oikle. (A recent MSNBC.com survey found that men are twice as likely as women are to cheat more than once.) So if your guy cheated on his last girlfriend with you, don't necessarily write it off as an isolated incident.

He wants to think he's taking care of you. Despite the fact that many women are outpacing men on the college level and in the workplace, "lots of guys still derive their feelings of masculinity and self-worth by being of value to the person they love," says Allen Berger, PhD, author of "Love Secrets Revealed." "And they feel most valuable when they're doing things for that person." So even though you're an independent chick who can support herself, it may benefit your relationship if you step back once in a while and let him step up -- even if it's just to do something as simple as pay for dinner. Think of it this way: Letting him care for you shows you care for him.

If a guy tells you that he's not ready for a relationship, take his word for it. Believe it or not, men really hate to disappoint women. So if he's "gotten up the guts to actually cross the threshold and tell you that he's not ready for a relationship, he means business," says Oikle. There could be a variety of explanations for his antirelationship position (he has commitment issues, he wants to meet other people, he doesn't see you as girlfriend material), but in the end, the result is the same: He's doesn't desire to be your boyfriend. End of story.
And no, he won't change his mind when he gets to know you a little better. "Once a guy decides how he sees a girl in his life, it's hard to break out of that thinking," says Coleman. Warning: If you stick around after he's told you this, he will likely take it as a sign that you're cool with the casual, nonexclusive nature of your relationship. So make sure you are.

Passion can grow as a relationship progresses. People used to think settling down meant saying goodbye to romance and passion. But research has found that young married couples are more satisfied in the romance department than their single counterparts are. Familiarity definitely has its perks. Couples who have been together for a long time have probably learned how to please each other and are more comfortable sharing their fantasies and desires to keep the romance alive.

You won't regret breaking up with a guy you're feeling unsure about. Nowadays, women may be impulsive about dating guys but not dumping them. "In fact, a lot of single women will try really hard to fit a square peg into a round hole because they want the relationship to work so bad," explains Magids. "It's only after a tremendous amount of thought and effort that they finally give up on it."
In part, women go through that painstaking process because they fear they'll end up kicking themselves for ending a relationship too soon. But a new study from Northwestern University found that even in the short term, people aren't as upset as they thought they'd be after a breakup. So if you sense you're with the wrong person, don't fret so much about walking away to find a better mate.

You will always be the one to initiate a relationship talk. Unlike women, who are conditioned to take the pulse of a relationship from time to time, men don't contemplate the state of your union until something's wrong. And even then, they want to work it out in their mind, whereas women want to talk it out.
When you go to initiate a relationship talk, bear in mind that men are uncomfortable with the unknown and paranoid that you'll end up in tears. So don't ambush him or it'll feel to him like going to the principal's office or being pulled over by a cop: surprising and nerve-racking, says Coleman.
To put him at ease, try what Oikle calls a compliment sandwich: Start with something positive, work in the concern, and end with something positive. For example, if you're trying to gauge if a new guy sees your relationship as serious, say, "I really like you a lot. Are you thinking this is a long-term thing? We've been having so much fun that I hope you do!" That will be much easier for him to digest than "Hey, am I your girlfriend or what?" Or if you want to broach the subject of moving in with a dude you've been dating for a while, try "I think we have an amazing relationship, and I'm ready to take the next step and move in together. Think of how much fun we'd have living under the same roof!"