Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Dah separuh jalan, teruskanlah!

Salam sejahtera dari SMK Dato' Haji Mohd. Redza.

Apa khabar kawan-kawan KSPK sekalian? Semoga semua berada dalam keadaan sihat-walafiat. Kini sudah masuk pertengahan minggu keempat praktikum kita. Teman dan Pak Abu sibuk dengan urusan-urusan di sekolah: sibuk menjalankan sesi B&K dan sibuk mengendalikan program sekolah.

Baru Sabtu lepas, sekolah kami menjadi tuan rumah kepada Karnival Pendidikan Pencegahan Dadah peringkat negeri dan kami berdua terlibat sebagai AJK Pertandingan Dikir Barat. Jumaat ini pula, Pak Abu akan membawa sekumpulan pelajar ke UKM untuk satu lawatan sambil belajar sementara teman pula diberi satu slot ceramah motivasi untuk pelajar-pelajar bukan Muslim.

Dalam kesibukan kami, kami telah tiga kali dikunjungi pensyarah penyelia, Tn Hj Zulkifli bin Maulud. Daripada kunjungan-kunjungan tersebut, kami dapati bahawa penyelia kami ini sebenarnya seorang yang amat teliti dan profesional dalam kerjanya. Dengan demikian, espektasi beliau terhadap kerja-kerja kami juga amat tinggi. Banyaklah teguran-teguran dan kritikan-kritikan, yang ada kalanya sinis, yang kami terima. Namun kesemua tunjuk ajar itu kami terima dengan hati yang terbuka kerana kami tahu beliau hanya mahu yang terbaik daripada kami. Cuma kami harap beliau tidak terlalu kecewa dengan kelemahan-kelemahan yang ada pada kami.

Meskipun begitu, kami sebenarnya merasa amat terhutang budi kepada beliau atas segala bimbingan dan keperihatinan yang ditunjukkan terhadap kami. Ia suatu pengalaman yang amat bernilai buat kami. Lantaran itu, kami berjanji akan terus memberi khidmat yang terbaik kepada pelajar-pelajar dan akan berusaha bersungguh-sungguh untuk memperbaiki segala kekurangan yang ada, khasnya dalam dua minggu lebih ini.

Kami harap rakan-rakan sekalian juga mendapat manfaat dan pengalaman yang berharga dalam latihan praktikum ini. Mudah-mudahan apa yang diperolehi dapat dijadikan bekalan yang berguna apabila balik ke sekolah (yang sebenarnya)nanti.

Selamat Maju Jaya.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Failure Attribution and Its Relation to Future Expectancy of Success within the context of Drug Addiction (Ling Ming Hook & Dr Mohammad Haji-Yusuf)

The objective of this study was to examine why drugs inmates failed to overcome their drug habit and to find the correlation between their attribution and future expectancy of success.

To this end, Weiner's(1971) attribution theory was used as the basis of study. A total of 114 inmates(62 Malay male inmates and 52 Chinese male inmates) from Penjara Dadah, Kajang were selected as subjects. A specially designed questionnaire was set to measure inmates' failure attribution, drug-free expectancy and helping-behaviour expectancy. Data were analyzed using the SPSS-X(Statistical Packages for Social Sciences-X)program, with t-test and Pearson Correlation as statistical tools.

It was generally found that inmates failure attribution was not influenced by ethnic factor. However certain attribution patterns tend to exist as to how the inmates attributed their failure. Regarding future expectancy of success, it was found that there was a negative correlation between failure attribution and drug-free expectancy. But there was no significant correlation between failure attribution and helping-behaviour expectancy. Results lent only partial support to Weiner's(1971) attribution theory.

(Abstrak Kertas Kerja yang dibentangkan di Seminar Kebangsaan Pertama Persatuan Psikologi Malaysia(PSIMA)di UKM pada 27-28hb Februari 1989)

Thursday, July 24, 2008

What a Big Mess!

A renowned Freudian psychologist was conducting a mass hypnosis in a packed stadium. Everything went on well until towards the end of the session when suddenly the swinging watch he was holding slipped and fell onto the ground, upon which he could be heard exclaiming loudly over the PA system, "Oh, shit!!!"

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Ikut Jejak Langkah Ayah

Kaunselor: Apabila Abu besar nanti nak jadi apa?

Klien: Nak ikut jejak langkah ayah, cikgu. Nak jadi polis.

Kaunselor: Oh! Jadi ayah Abu seorang polis, ye?

Klien: Tidak, ayah seorang pencuri!!!

Friday, July 18, 2008

Berhati-hati Di Jalan Raya

Kring, Kring!(2X) Telefon berdering.

"Hello mak! Ini Andrew cakap. Saya akan balik hari ini, mak. Saya akan sampai rumah jam lebih kurang 7.30 malam."

"Baiklah nak!"

Dari saat itu juga, ibu Andrew sudah mula menunggu kepulangan anak kesayangannya. Kalau boleh, dia nak Andrew berada di sisinya pada waktu itu juga. Tapi apa boleh buat. Pulau Pinang, tempat Andrew kerja, bukannya sangat dekat Sitiawan. Jadi, mahu tak mahu, dia terpaksa menunggu.

Jam 7.30 malam - Andrew belum sampai. Tak apalah. Biasalah tu. Jam 8.30 malam - Andrew masih belum sampai. Sudah nampak sedikit kerisauan. Jam 9.00 malam - Andrew tak sampai-sampai juga. Semakin risau. Dan jam 9.20 malam - Tok! Tok! Tok! Tok! Tok!
Ada ketukan pada pintu.

"Ah! Andrew anakku akhirnya dah sampai."

Dengan langkah seribu harapan, ibu Andrew segera pergi membuka pintu. Dibukanya pintu. Alangkah terkejutnya apabila didapati orang yang berdiri di luar itu bukannya Andrew tetapi seorang inspektor poplis yang datang membawa berita Andrew terbunuh dalam satu kemalangan jalan raya dekat Taiping. Motosikal yang dibawanya telah berlanggar dengan sebuah lori dan Andrew mati di tempat kejadian.

Berita kematian Andrew begitu perit buat ibunya. Tiada ia sangka penantiannya boleh berakhir begitu rupa. Kemalangan cepat sekali mengubah nasib seseorang. Dalam sekelip mata sahaja, seorang ibu kehilangan anak kesayangannya yang dibelainya selama 21 tahun. Dalam sekelip mata sahaja saya kehilangan seorang kawan yang menjadi teman hidup saya sejak kecil lagi. Dan daalam sekelip mata sahaja, Andrew tinggal sebagai kenangan semata-mata.

Begitu senang sekali ia pergi tetapi begitu sukar sekali untuk diterima oleh orang-orang yang ditinggalkannya, khasnya keluarganya!

Namun apa yang berlaku ke atas keluarga Andrew itu bukanlah sesuatu yang luar biasa, yang jarang berlaku dalam hidup. Ia berlaku tiap-tiap hari kepada keluarga yang berlainan di Malaysia. Laporan polis menunjukkan purata sebanyak 530 kes kemalangan berlaku tiap-tiap hari dengan 17 kematian dalam sehari. Ini bermakna dalam tiap-tiap 3 minit akan berlaku 1 kemalangan dan dalam tiap-tiap 85 minit 1 kematian di atas jalan raya Malaysia,

Dan untuk setengah tahun ini sahaja, sehingga bulan Jun 1997, sebanyak 100 145 kes kemalangan telah berlaku membabitkan 3169 kematian. Ini satu angka yang cukup membimbangkan kerana dalam masa 6 bulan sahaja, jumlah mereka yang terbunuh dalam kemalangan jalan raya sudah melebihi jumlah semua orang yang ada di SMJK Nan Hwa ini, termasuk mereka dari sidang petang. Cubalah pelajar bayangkan betapa seriusnya masalah yang kita hadapi ini.

Namun ada kalanya, kita tidak rasa apa-apa pun melihat pada angka-angka seperti ini. Kita sudah begitu biasa dengannya sehingga kita lupa bahawa setiap angka ini ada ceritanya tersendiri. Cerita yang tragis yang mengandungi unsur-unsur seperti airmata, darah, kesakitan dan kehilangan orang yang tersayang. Mangsa kemalangan, seorang manusia, kini tinggal sebagai satu nombor sahaja dalam kiraan statistik kemalangan. Inilah yang amat menyedihkan.

Sebab utama kenapa kemalangan begitu banyak di Malaysia bukan kerana rakyat Malaysia tak pandai bawa kereta atau motor. Bukan juga kerana jalan-jalan di Malaysia terlalu licin. Tetapi kerana kepercayaan karut bahawa kemalangan itu hanya berlaku pada orang lain dan bukan pada diri sendiri.

Seolah-olah diri kita ini kebal, kuat, macam 'Superman'. Nak jadi 'Superman' atas jalan raya. Inilah kesilapan yang paling besar di dunia kerana ia boleh membuat kita, terutamanya golongan muda, leka dan lalai di atas jalan raya. Langsung mendedahkan rakyat Malaysia kepada pelbagai jenis kemalangan, termasuk juga kemalangan maut yang ditakuti.

Maut itu, para pelajar, tidak akan tunggu kita pergi kepadanya. Tidak! Tahu apa ia akan buat? Ia akan menunggu kita. Pada bila-bila masa dan di mana-mana saja. Di tepi jalan, di tengah jalan, di simpang jalan, di selekoh yang tajam, ia akan menunggu. Menunggu dan menunggu. Menunggu untuk mencengkam dan meragut nyawa orang-orang yang cuai dan ingin menunjuk-nunjuk.

Itulah sebabnya kadang-kadang apabila cikgu melihat setengah-setengah orang muda bawa motor, cikgu rasa takut. Mereka bukan sahaja tak suka pakai topi keledar tetapi juga suka berlumba-lumba atas jalan raya. Suka bawa laju-laju. Seolah-olah lebih laju lebih baik. Lebih bising, lebih bagus dan lebih bahaya, lagi seronok. Inilah yang dikatakan nak cari nahas. Kerana yang menunggu mereka dengan tangan yang terbuka itu siapa? MAUT! Yang sentiasa bersedia untuk membawa mereka ke dunia yang satu lagi. Dan sehngga ini, banyaklah yang dibawanya pergi. Banyak yang menjadi mangsa kemalangan.

Tahun ini genaplah 16 tahun kawan baik saya, Andrew, meninggal dunia. Namun dari semasa ke semasa, saya masih teringatkannya. Kerana saya masih merinduinya. Masih sayangkannya. Para pelajar sekalian, jangan biar perkara ini berlaku kepada orang-orang yang anda sayangi: kepada ibu bapa anda, keluarga anda dan sahabat handai anda. Berhati-hatilah ketika berada di atas jalan raya kerana maut itu tidaklah sejauh seperti yang disangkakan.

(Ucapan ini disampaikan di Perhimpunan Pagi SMJK Nan Hwa, Sitiawan, Perak sempena Kempen Keselamatan Jalan Raya pada bulan Ogos, 1997 demi memperingati pemergian kawan baik saya, Andrew Gong Wooi Chu, pada tangga 21.12.1981. Semoga Tuhan mencucri rahmat ke atas rohnya.)

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Family Stamps

Hi everybody! This is my family. Like everyone else, I desire for a happy family. A family based on love, forgiveness and tolerance. But alas, this is easier said than done. Having to resolve the many conflicts, arguments and misunderstandings in the family is certainly no walk in the park. A lot of care, patience and understanding is needed to glue the family together. However, with God's help, I believe it can be achieved through hardwork and sacrifices. As a counsellor-in-the-making, it is all the more important for me to keep my own house in order before thinking of serving others. Charity, as it is, must begin at home.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Kepimpinan Melalui Teladan?

Seorang kaunselor sekolah pulang awal dan mendapati anak pengetuanya sedang menjolok buah rambutannya yang lebat dengan galah yang panjang.

Kaunselor : Hei budak, apa kau nak buat? Nak curi rambutan aku ye? Nanti bila bapak kau
balik, aku akan cerita dekat dia. Siaplah kau!

Budak : Kalau nak cerita dekat dia sekarang pun boleh.

Kaunselor : Hah?

Budak : Sebab bapak aku ada kat atas pokok!

Kaunselor : (Patutlah Tuan Pengetua balik lagi awal)

Sunday, July 6, 2008

True riches in Life

Wealth, they say, is relative. The more wealth, the more relatives.

To me, there are two ways to be wealthy. The first method, the conventional way, is to acquire as much wealth as possible; as much money, shares, properties etc to meet the many unsatiable desires in our lives. However, the downside to this is that it can lead to greed and untold miseries when the many wants in our lives are not met.

The second way, the one favoured by the mystics, involves not in acquiring of wealth but rather in cutting down of the many wants or desires in our lives. The great Buddha, The Enlightened One, once had this to say. He said, "The world if full of sorrow. The root of sorrow is desire. And the uprooting of sorrow is desireless-ness."

Accordingly, the true riches of life are to be sought from within and not without and this is beautifully illustrated in a Hindu story. In this story, the Lord Vishnu appeared in a dream to a man and told him that at 10 o'clock the next morning a mendicant(wandering beggar) would be passing by the only road in the village and should he give the man the stone that he had, the man would be the richest man in the world.

And true enough, at 10 the next morning, the man saw the mendicant passing by the road and rushed to him. "Give me the stone! Give me the stone!" "What stone are you talking about?" "Last night the Lord Vishnu told me to wait here for a mendicant at 10 this morning and should he give me the stone that he had, I would be the richest man in the world." So the mendicant rummaged his bag and took out a stone. " Is this what you are looking for?" Wow! It was the largest diamond in the world. "Yes, would you give it to me?" "Of course, found it somewhere in my wandering."

Now, as the man was walking back with the diamond, something struck him. He sat down under a tree and pondered all day long. Evening came and again he saw the mendicant. Again he rushed up to the mendicant and told him, "Take back the stone. I don't want it. But would you give me the riches that is in your heart which enable you to give away this stone?"

My dear friends, there is something precious within us. The Bible says that "The Kingdom of God is within us." If only, we care enough to reflect and plough deep within us, we will find that all the riches needed to live a meaningful and enriching lives are inside of us and that we have a lot more to offer to the world and that we are all millionaires in our own right.

(Presented during the Sitiawan Toastmasters Club meeting - Table Topic in 2000)

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Selamat Menjalani Latihan Praktikum

Minggu depan rakan-rakan kursus KSPK akan keluar menjalani praktikum di sekolah-sekolah yang dipilih di sekitar Seremban selama enam minggu. Sepanjang tempoh ini masing-masing akan sibuk dengan kerja masing-masing dan mungkin tiada peluang untuk bersua muka antara satu sama lain.

Dalam pada itu pula, orang-orang yang 'digeruni' iaitu pensyarah-pensyarah penyelia akan datang untuk bertanya khabar kira-kira tiga kali dalam satu setengah bulan itu. Seronoklah kalau dapat penyelia yang open, understanding dan lenient dengan markah. Taklah tension sangat.

Walau bagaimanapun dengan persediaan selama setengah tahun ini, teman percaya semua akan berjalan dengan baik. Sebagai guru bimbingan dan kaunseling, kita mesti bersedia untuk berjuang dalam apa jua keadaan sekalipun; di bawah sesiapa saja dan di mana-mana juga.

Buatlah yang terbaik. Jangan lupa rakan-rakan di sekolah lain. Updatelah berita terkini di sekolah anda di blog anda. Kongsilah kisah suka dan duka anda, terutama selepas dikunjungi penyelia. Dan kalau ada jamuan makan, jangan lupa pada teman.

Selamat Maju Jaya!

Friday, July 4, 2008

Honesty is the Best Policy

I have heard people say that, "There is nothing straight in a Chinese except may be his hair." I do not really know how true this is but I thank God that I am first a Christian and then a Chinese. And
this does give me some measure of confidence to deal with this topic called 'Honesty.'

Honesty, people say, is the best policy. To be honest is to be truthful, frank and straight forward. An honest man is one who would not be crooked even if he could get away with it. He knows no lying, no cheating and no hanky panky. All his ways are noble. A famous English poet, Alexander Pope, once described an honest man to be the noblest work of God.

But like all good virtues, honesty is hard to find nowadays. The Gospel of this world preaches that honesty is a thing of the past and to succeed in today's competitive world, one needs to be cunning, not honest. This spirit, unfortunately, has caught up with many people. Yet despite what negative things the world may say about honesty, I honestly, still believe it to be the best policy.

The first reason why we need to be honest is because it can help us to solve our problems more effectively. Honestly will give us a real and total picture of our problem. This, in return, will enable us to get to the root of our problem. And once we get to the root of the problem, it will be easier for us to find the solution. On the other hand, dishonesty will only complicate the problem and make it more difficult to solve, especially later on. A lot of time and energy will also be wasted.

It is in this respect that the court sees honesty as the most important aspect in solving its cases. Before one can testify in court, he is sworn by the following oath: "I promise to speak the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth. So help me God." Only then can he testify because he is now expected to be honest. But should he be caught being dishonest, then he can be charged with perjury which can carry a penalty up to 6/7 years in jail or even more, depending on its severity. This is how serious the court treats honesty in its problem solving. Are we doing the same in our lives?

The second reason why we need to be honest is that it helps our reputation. People will trust us if we are honest. Honesty breeds confidence and friendship in people. Once people realize that we have cheated them, it is so difficult to win back their trust, especially if that person happens to be your spouse or loved ones!

When I was small, one of my favourite stories is 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf' taken from Aesop Fables. In this story, the boy bought misfortune upon himself for being dishonest. He tricked the villagers one time too many by crying, 'Wolf! Wolf!" when there was no wolf. And when the wolf finally made an appearance, no one came to his aid despite his cries. They had simply lost trust in him. As Abraham Lincoln so aptly put it, "You can cheat all the people sometimes, some people all the time but not all people all the time." When they find out, there will be a lot of unpleasantness and it is definitely not worth it.

Reason number three why we must be honest is because honesty is good for our health, both mentally and physically. You see when we lie, we must always remember what we have said in case people check on us. Worse still, to cover this lie, we have to create another lie, and another and another. There is no end to it and it can be quite tortuous to remember them all.

But this problem does not arise if we tell the truth. There is a Jewish proverb which says, "If you speak the truth, you don't have to remember." There is no need to hide or worry. Our conscience will be clear and our poor heart can relax and I can assure you, you will sleep well at night. The truth will set you free.

In a world that is so torn by lies and half-truths, it is important for us to be able to say "Yes" for a yes and "No' for a no. Being honest does make a difference to our lives, eventually. Once a house-builder was asked by his boss to build a bungalow. He was given all the neccessary materials to build a beautiful bungalow on a hilltop overlooking the sea. Now, being, dishonest, this man tried to cheat and cut corners. He was putting more sand than cement, the wiring was poorly done, the floor unevened, walls cracking and so forth. He even sold off quality materials in exchange for poor ones. Within months, the hastily-built house was completed.

Then one day, in a dinner given by the company, his boss made a surprise annoucement. Refering to the man, he gladly announced:"In appreciation to your long service to this company, I now with great pleasure present to you the keys to the bungalow you have been building." Gosh, it was only there and then that he realized the cost of his dishonesty but it was too late. Had he been honest, he would have build himself and his family a lovely bungalow.

In many ways, my friends, we may be like this man. God has given us so much of grace to lead a good life but often we have chosen to settle for less. Let us today resolve to do better than that. Let us give honesty a chance by being truthful in our lives. True, it may not be easy. At times, it might even seem foolish to be honest. But I sincerely believe if we perservere in bearing witness to the truth, the truth will vindicate us and in due time, we will be able to experience the abundant blessings that come with it, proving that honesty is indeed the best policy.

(Adapted from a talk given during a Charismatic Renewal Meeting in St Francis De Sales Church, Sitiawan in 1994)

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Kejutan di Pagi Buta

Seorang klien menelefon kaunselornya pada jam 2.30 pagi kerana tak dapat tidur.

Klien : Tn kaunselor, kau kena tolong aku. Aku tak dapat tidurlah.
Kaunselor : Tak dapat tidur? Kenapa? Apa masalah kau?
Klien : Masalah duitlah. Masih ingat duit lima ribu yang kau pinjam dekat aku tempoh
hari? Aku dah hilang duit itulah dan sekarang tak tahu macam mana nak pulangkan
pada kau. Sebab itulah aku tak dapat tidur.
Kaunselor : Celaka kau! Kenapa harus beritahu aku di pagi buta ini? Tengok, sekarang aku
pulak yang tak dapat tidur!!!

(Pengajaran: Kaunselor jangan sekali-kali pinjam duit pada klien dan kalau boleh, jangan
buat sesi melalui telefon di pagi buta)

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

It Only Takes A Spark !

This morning as I was taking a monorail coach to Kompleks Kraf, KL a remarkable thing happened. Seated in front of me were two young burly Indian guys and a sweet looking chinese girl. As the train was about to stop at Hang Tuah station, the two big guys stood up. Thinking that they were about to get off the train, I had instinctively wanted to 'steal' one of the two vacated seats.

But to my surprise, they did not alight from the train. Apparently, from the window of the coach, they had seen some old ladies waiting to board the train and were giving up their seats for them. Their kind action had prompted the sweet young girl next to them to also give up her seat. Being taught a lesson in politeness, how could I not also do a bit of 'sacrifice' by not competing for seats with the respected senior citizens of ours.

In a moment of glory, I had witnessed how goodwill and generosity triumph over self-centredness. Hats off to those who were willing to show what it means to respect the elderly, especially the two young Indian guys. Their thoughtfulness saved the day for the three old ladies and inspired two others, yours truly included, to do likewise. As the proverbial saying goes, 'It only takes a spark to get the fire going!'