How To Say No to People

Saying no is a challenge that each of us faces every single day. Some of us are very good at saying no, while others struggle with the concept. Due to the need to "people please" or be popular, we sometimes take on anything and everything. This just isn't healthy! Here is how to say no even when it is uncomfortable.


1. Utilize your common sense. Saying no is uncomfortable sometimes, and it should only be done when there are no other viable options. Spend some time thinking over any requests before answering, and see if there is a compromise available. Do not rush to answer and then realize that you could have gotten by with saying maybe.

2. Answer people with a respectful no. When we are faced with a situation where it is not in our best interest to answer a request, it is important to decline and say no with kindness. Most people will accept rejection gracefully if it is done with respect.

3. Speak in an even, calm manner. When saying no, you should always keep your voice on an even keel. This will help to ease the stress of the situation, and avoid arguments. People like to get their way, and saying no will be stressful sometimes. Always remain calm when saying no.

4. Suggest an alternative to their request. Sometimes when you say no, it is an opportunity to help someone come up with a better idea. Do not be afraid to give them alternative choices. You may not be able to host that party, but you might be willing to help out in some other way. Think over any request and suggest another idea.

5. Stand your ground when you are challenged. Some people will not take no for an answer and this is when it is vital that you stand your ground. Do not give in to anger, bullying or abusive behavior. You have a right to say no to any request that you are uncomfortable with. Say no, and mean it!

How To Dress For Success

Step1

Call the Human Resources office of your potential employer and ask what their dress code is. If you go into the office to pick up an employment application then observe what the employees are wearing. The goal is to dress as if you already fit in with the current personnel.

Step2

Wear solid-colored, conservative suits. Women should wear a coordinating blouse while men should wear a white, long-sleeve shirt and conservative tie.

Step3

Polish your dress shoes. If you wear shoes that are dirty, cracked or dull then you're sending the message that you do not pay attention to detail.

Step4

Make sure you are well groomed. Your hair should be combed and in place, your teeth brushed and you should be free of body odor.

Step5

Keep the jewellery to a minimum. There shouldn't be any visible body piercings other than conservative earrings for women.

Step6

Apply sparse makeup if you wear any at all. Too much makeup will make you appear flashy.

Telephone Etiquette

Presenting a professional image, both in person and on the telephone, is very important in the Office Skills profession. Taking care of your customers over the telephone and making them feel well informed and appreciated is essential. Whether you are the front office receptionist or an executive secretary, the following phone tips should always be followed.

Answering Calls

1. Speak clearly. A picture paints a thousand words but the caller on the other end of the phone can only hear you. They cannot see your face or body language. Therefore, taking the time to speak clearly, slowly and in a cheerful, professional voice is very important.

2. Use your normal tone of voice when answering a call . If you have a tendency to speak loud or shout, avoid doing so on the telephone.

3. Do not eat or drink while you are on telephone duty. Only eat or drink during your coffee break or lunch break.

4. Do not use slang words or Poor Language. Respond clearly with “yes” or “no” when speaking. Never use swear words.

5. Address the Caller Properly by his or her title. (i.e. Good morning Mr. Brown, Good afternoon Ms. Sanders). Never address an unfamiliar caller by his or her first name.

6. Listen to the Caller and what they have to say. The ability to listen is a problem in general but it is very important to listen to what the caller has to say. It is always a good habit to repeat the information back to the client when you are taking a message. Verify that you have heard and transcribed the message accurately.

7. Be patient and helpful. If a caller is irate or upset, listen to what they have to say and then refer them to the appropriate resource. Never snap back or act rude to the caller.

8. Always ask if you can put the caller on hold. If you are responsible for answering multiple calls at once, always ask the caller politely if you may put them on hold. Remember that the caller could have already waited several minutes before getting connected to you and may not take lightly to being put on hold. Never leave the person on hold for more than a few seconds or they may become upset and hang up.

9. Always focus on the call. Try not to get distracted by people around you. If someone tries to interrupt you while you are on a call, politely remind them that you are on a customer call and that you will be with them as soon as you are finished

How to Learn Speed Reading

STEPS

1. Have your eyes checked. Many people who read particularly slowly do so because they have an undiagnosed vision problem. Even if you think you have perfect vision, if you haven't had an eye exam recently, there's no time like the present.
2. Time your current reading speed. It is important to find out how fast you read now so that you can track your improvement through subsequent timings. Not only will timing help you to tell if you're improving, but it will also keep you motivated.
   
   
   • You can break out a book and a stopwatch and either time how long it takes you to read a certain number of words on a page or find out how many words you read in a given amount of time.
   • An easier way to time yourself is to take an online reading speed test. There are a plethora of these available: just enter "reading speed test" in your search engine. Many of these have reading comprehension tests, as well, so you can see how well you're understanding what you're reading.
   • Regardless of how you decide to time yourself, be sure to read at your normal speed during the timing, and time yourself on a few different pages - the average of your times should approximate your average reading speed.
3. Get rid of distractions. Even if you think you read better when you have music playing or when you're in a crowded coffee house, you can probably increase your speed if you reduce distractions to a bare minimum. Try to find a solitary place to read, and turn off the TV, radio and cell phone. Even being in a room of people talking is distracting. If no solitary place is available, try using earplugs to block out any distractions around you. In order to maximize comprehension while reading quickly, you will need to focus on the material at hand as closely as possible.
4. Adjust reading speed depending on the material. Often, we must trade off comprehension for speed, so an important part of increasing reading speed is deciding how thoroughly you need to comprehend a particular piece of writing. So before you even start reading, decide how fast you intend to go. If you're reading a newspaper article, chances are you just want to get the main ideas, and you can skim through the passages quite rapidly. If, however, you're reading a mathematics textbook or a demanding philosophical treatise - and you need to fully understand the material - you do not want to rush.
5. Learn to separate the wheat from the chaff with pre-reading. No matter what you are reading, there is frequently a lot of "filler" that you can read quickly through or even skim over. With practice, you will be able to identify the most important parts of a book as you skim through it. When you get to such a passage, slow down. Before you begin a chapter or book, look over the entire piece very quickly. Try to find patterns of repeated words, key ideas, bold print and other indicators of important concepts. Then, when you actually do your reading you may be able to skim over large portions of the text, slowing only when you come to something you know is important.
6. Train yourself not to reread. Most people frequently stop and skip back to words or sentences they just read to try to make sure they understood the meaning. This is usually unnecessary, but it can easily become a habit, and many times you will not even notice you're doing it. One exercise to help you avoid rereading is to take a sheet of paper or index card and drag it down the page as you read, covering each line once you've read it. Try to drag the card in a steady motion; start slowly, and increase your speed as you feel more comfortable.
7. Stop reading to yourself. As you read you probably subvocalise, or pronounce the words to yourself. Almost everybody does it, although to different degrees: some people actually move their lips or say the words under their breath, while others simply say each word in their heads. Regardless of how you subvocalise, it slows you down. (You are concerned with speed reading here, not reading to practice communicating the material verbally, which can be done later if you find it necessary.) To break the habit, try to be conscious of it. When you notice yourself pronouncing words to yourself, try to stop doing it. It may help to focus on key words and skip over others, or you may want to try humming to yourself in order to prevent subvocalising. One exercise to stop your lips from moving is to put a finger on your mouth and keep it there while you read.
8. Read with your hand. Smooth, consistent eye motion is essential to speed reading. You can maximize your eyes' efficiency by using your hand to guide them. One such method is to simply draw your hand down each page as you read. You can also brush your hand under each line you read, as if you are brushing dust off the lines. Your eyes instinctively follow motion, and the movement of your hand serves to keep your eyes moving constantly forward. Note, however, that many speed reading instruction books warn off using a tracking member in speed reading as it inhibits the process.
9. Practice reading blocks of words. Nearly everyone learned to read word-by-word or even letter-by-letter, but once you know the language, that's not the most efficient method of reading. Not every word is important, and in order to read quickly, you'll need to read groups of words - or even whole sentences or short paragraphs - instantaneously. The good news is you probably already do this to some extent: most people read three or four words at a time. Once you make an effort to be aware of your reading style, you'll discover how many words you read at a time. Now you just need to increase that number. Using your hand as a guide may help, as may holding the book a little further from your eyes than you usually do.
10. Practice and push yourself. While you may see some gains in speed the moment you start using these tips, speed reading is a skill that requires a lot of practice. Always push yourself to your comfort level and beyond - if you end up having to reread a section, it's not a big deal. Keep practicing regularly.
11. Time yourself regularly. After a week or so of practice, time yourself as in step two. Do this regularly thereafter, and keep track of your improvement. Don't forget to pat yourself on the back every time your reading speed increases!

TIPS

• Try books with large font to start. A book with small letters might be hard at first because it is easy to skip lines by mistake.
• Start by reading a book or article that you have already read. It will be easier to skip words and keep up a smooth flow if you're familiar with the material.
• When using your hand or finger to guide your eyes, start slowly, but at a challenging pace. Even if you don't think you're keeping up with your hand, keep going for a page or two and then test your comprehension. With practice, you'll be able to move your hand and read faster that way.
• Take frequent breaks. Your comprehension and focus will be better if you take a five-minute break every hour or half-hour. Taking breaks is also important to keep your eyes healthy and avoid eye strain.
• You may not want to read some things quickly, even if you can. Fiction for example, is usually relatively easy to read quickly, but you can miss out on a lot of the nuance and beauty of the fiction writer's craft, even if you understand everything that's going on in a story. The same is doubly true for poetry. If you're reading for enjoyment, it may be best to savor the words.
• An index card, bookmark, or other page-width item might help increase speed more than a finger. By obscuring surrounding text, a card prevents your eyes from wandering.
• Read every day at least 10 minutes.

12 Tips for Making Small Talk

Being able to connect with others through small talk can lead to big things, according to Debra Fine, author of 'The Fine Art of Small Talk.' A former engineer, Fine recalls being so uncomfortable at networking events that she would hide in the restroom. Now a professional speaker, Fine says the ability to connect with people through small talk is an acquired skill.Fine and her fellow authorities on schmoozing offer the following tips for starting -- and ending -- conversations:

1. As you prepare for a function, come up with three things to talk about as well as four generic questions that will get others talking. If you've met the host before, try to remember things about her, such as her passion for a sport or a charity you're both involved in.

2. Be the first to say "hello." If you're not sure the other person will remember you, offer your name to ease the pressure. For example, "Charles Bartlett? Lynn Schmidt... good to see you again." Smile first and always shake hands when you meet someone.

3. Take your time during introductions. Make an extra effort to remember names and use them frequently.

4. Get the other person talking by leading with a common ground statement regarding the event or location and then asking a related open-ended question. For example, "Attendance looks higher than last year, how long have you been coming to these conventions?" You can also ask them about their trip in or how they know the host.

5. Stay focused on your conversational partner by actively listening and giving feedback. Maintain eye contact. Never glance around the room while they are talking to you.

6. Listen more than you talk.

7. Have something interesting to contribute. Keeping abreast of current events and culture will provide you with great conversation builders, leading with "What do you think of...?" Have you heard...?" What is your take on...?" Stay away from negative or controversial topics, and refrain from long-winded stories or giving a lot of detail in casual conversation.

8. If there are people you especially want to meet, one of the best ways to approach them is to be introduced by someone they respect. Ask a mutual friend to do the honors.

9. If someone hands you a business card, accept it as a gift. Hold it in both hands and take a moment to read what is written on it. When you're done, put it away in a shirt pocket, purse or wallet to show it is valued.

10. Watch your body language. People who look ill at ease make others uncomfortable. Act confident and comfortable, even when you're not.

11. Before entering into a conversation that's already in progress, observe and listen. You don't want to squash the dynamics with an unsuited or ill-timed remark.

12. Have a few exit lines ready, so that you can both gracefully move on. For example, "I need to check in with a client over there," "I skipped lunch today, so I need to visit the buffet," or you can offer to refresh their drink.

When should you exit a conversation? According to Susan RoAne, author and speaker known as the "Mingling Maven," your objective in all encounters should be to make a good impression and leave people wanting more. To do that, she advises: "Be bright. Be brief. Be gone."

Some Advice on Good Table Manners

1. Sit down properly with napkin placed on the lap.
   
2. Wait to begin eating until everyone is seated and has been served.
3. Stay seated in seats without jiggling in chairs, going under the table, or getting up and down.
4. Say, “Excuse Me,” and ask permission to leave the table.
5. Elbows do not go on the table.
6. Mouths should stay closed while chewing.
7. “May I please” and “Thank you” should be used when we would like some food and never reach across the table.
8. Participate in the conversation during dinner and no interruptions when other people are talking.
9. Slurping, burping, squealing, singing, humming are all sounds that are not to be made at the table.
10. It is never kind or polite to make negative comments about what is being served for dinner.
11. Before getting up at the end of the meal say, “May I please be excused?”
12. Thank the cook.

Mastering the Laugh

You won’t croak if you tell a joke!

Let’s face it. Humor is hard! Even experienced speakers struggle with knowing how to (appropriately!) tickle their audience’s funny bones. We all enjoy listening to a funny speech –the problem is, we typically don’t think of ourselves as being funny speakers. Members of Toastmasters are no different; that’s why we have assembled a wide range of resource material on this topic. Toastmasters exist to help your audience laugh with you, not at you!

Humor has many benefits. It can:

• Help establish a bond with the audience
• Win over a hostile audience
• Keep the audience interested
• Emphasize or illustrate a point
• Help people remember you

Here are some tips:

• Be yourself. Think about what types of humor you appreciate, then create a library of such items. Don’t like jokes? Try a humorous anecdote or a witty observation from your own life.
• It’s OK to be mildly amusing, rather than eye-dabbingly funny.
• Use humor sparingly, like a spice. At first, try using a humorous opener to your speech. A quote or offhand observation can be a good icebreaker.
• Keep it relevant to your speech topic.
• Avoid retelling jokes found on the Internet. Chances are good others have already heard or seen them.
• Keep it clean! Humor is supposed to make people feel good – not embarrassed, insulted or offended.
• Make it readily identifiable as humor. But in case no one laughs, prepare a comment in advance or just move on.
• Keep it appropriate to the audience and the situation.
• Self-effacing humor is safe –a little of it goes a long way. The audience would rather hear about the time you fell on your face than when you won the race.
• Work on your delivery. Practice using vocal variety and gestures.
• Timing is everything! Pause before the punch line.