Family Stamps

Hi everybody! This is my family. Like everyone else, I desire for a happy family. A family based on love, forgiveness and tolerance. But alas, this is easier said than done. Having to resolve the many conflicts, arguments and misunderstandings in the family is certainly no walk in the park. A lot of care, patience and understanding is needed to glue the family together. However, with God's help, I believe it can be achieved through hardwork and sacrifices. As a counsellor-in-the-making, it is all the more important for me to keep my own house in order before thinking of serving others. Charity, as it is, must begin at home.

Kepimpinan Melalui Teladan?

Seorang kaunselor sekolah pulang awal dan mendapati anak pengetuanya sedang menjolok buah rambutannya yang lebat dengan galah yang panjang.

Kaunselor : Hei budak, apa kau nak buat? Nak curi rambutan aku ye? Nanti bila bapak kau
balik, aku akan cerita dekat dia. Siaplah kau!

Budak : Kalau nak cerita dekat dia sekarang pun boleh.

Kaunselor : Hah?

Budak : Sebab bapak aku ada kat atas pokok!

Kaunselor : (Patutlah Tuan Pengetua balik lagi awal)

True riches in Life

Wealth, they say, is relative. The more wealth, the more relatives.

To me, there are two ways to be wealthy. The first method, the conventional way, is to acquire as much wealth as possible; as much money, shares, properties etc to meet the many unsatiable desires in our lives. However, the downside to this is that it can lead to greed and untold miseries when the many wants in our lives are not met.

The second way, the one favoured by the mystics, involves not in acquiring of wealth but rather in cutting down of the many wants or desires in our lives. The great Buddha, The Enlightened One, once had this to say. He said, "The world if full of sorrow. The root of sorrow is desire. And the uprooting of sorrow is desireless-ness."

Accordingly, the true riches of life are to be sought from within and not without and this is beautifully illustrated in a Hindu story. In this story, the Lord Vishnu appeared in a dream to a man and told him that at 10 o'clock the next morning a mendicant(wandering beggar) would be passing by the only road in the village and should he give the man the stone that he had, the man would be the richest man in the world.

And true enough, at 10 the next morning, the man saw the mendicant passing by the road and rushed to him. "Give me the stone! Give me the stone!" "What stone are you talking about?" "Last night the Lord Vishnu told me to wait here for a mendicant at 10 this morning and should he give me the stone that he had, I would be the richest man in the world." So the mendicant rummaged his bag and took out a stone. " Is this what you are looking for?" Wow! It was the largest diamond in the world. "Yes, would you give it to me?" "Of course, found it somewhere in my wandering."

Now, as the man was walking back with the diamond, something struck him. He sat down under a tree and pondered all day long. Evening came and again he saw the mendicant. Again he rushed up to the mendicant and told him, "Take back the stone. I don't want it. But would you give me the riches that is in your heart which enable you to give away this stone?"

My dear friends, there is something precious within us. The Bible says that "The Kingdom of God is within us." If only, we care enough to reflect and plough deep within us, we will find that all the riches needed to live a meaningful and enriching lives are inside of us and that we have a lot more to offer to the world and that we are all millionaires in our own right.

(Presented during the Sitiawan Toastmasters Club meeting - Table Topic in 2000)

Selamat Menjalani Latihan Praktikum

Minggu depan rakan-rakan kursus KSPK akan keluar menjalani praktikum di sekolah-sekolah yang dipilih di sekitar Seremban selama enam minggu. Sepanjang tempoh ini masing-masing akan sibuk dengan kerja masing-masing dan mungkin tiada peluang untuk bersua muka antara satu sama lain.

Dalam pada itu pula, orang-orang yang 'digeruni' iaitu pensyarah-pensyarah penyelia akan datang untuk bertanya khabar kira-kira tiga kali dalam satu setengah bulan itu. Seronoklah kalau dapat penyelia yang open, understanding dan lenient dengan markah. Taklah tension sangat.

Walau bagaimanapun dengan persediaan selama setengah tahun ini, teman percaya semua akan berjalan dengan baik. Sebagai guru bimbingan dan kaunseling, kita mesti bersedia untuk berjuang dalam apa jua keadaan sekalipun; di bawah sesiapa saja dan di mana-mana juga.

Buatlah yang terbaik. Jangan lupa rakan-rakan di sekolah lain. Updatelah berita terkini di sekolah anda di blog anda. Kongsilah kisah suka dan duka anda, terutama selepas dikunjungi penyelia. Dan kalau ada jamuan makan, jangan lupa pada teman.

Selamat Maju Jaya!

Honesty is the Best Policy

I have heard people say that, "There is nothing straight in a Chinese except may be his hair." I do not really know how true this is but I thank God that I am first a Christian and then a Chinese. And
this does give me some measure of confidence to deal with this topic called 'Honesty.'

Honesty, people say, is the best policy. To be honest is to be truthful, frank and straight forward. An honest man is one who would not be crooked even if he could get away with it. He knows no lying, no cheating and no hanky panky. All his ways are noble. A famous English poet, Alexander Pope, once described an honest man to be the noblest work of God.

But like all good virtues, honesty is hard to find nowadays. The Gospel of this world preaches that honesty is a thing of the past and to succeed in today's competitive world, one needs to be cunning, not honest. This spirit, unfortunately, has caught up with many people. Yet despite what negative things the world may say about honesty, I honestly, still believe it to be the best policy.

The first reason why we need to be honest is because it can help us to solve our problems more effectively. Honestly will give us a real and total picture of our problem. This, in return, will enable us to get to the root of our problem. And once we get to the root of the problem, it will be easier for us to find the solution. On the other hand, dishonesty will only complicate the problem and make it more difficult to solve, especially later on. A lot of time and energy will also be wasted.

It is in this respect that the court sees honesty as the most important aspect in solving its cases. Before one can testify in court, he is sworn by the following oath: "I promise to speak the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth. So help me God." Only then can he testify because he is now expected to be honest. But should he be caught being dishonest, then he can be charged with perjury which can carry a penalty up to 6/7 years in jail or even more, depending on its severity. This is how serious the court treats honesty in its problem solving. Are we doing the same in our lives?

The second reason why we need to be honest is that it helps our reputation. People will trust us if we are honest. Honesty breeds confidence and friendship in people. Once people realize that we have cheated them, it is so difficult to win back their trust, especially if that person happens to be your spouse or loved ones!

When I was small, one of my favourite stories is 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf' taken from Aesop Fables. In this story, the boy bought misfortune upon himself for being dishonest. He tricked the villagers one time too many by crying, 'Wolf! Wolf!" when there was no wolf. And when the wolf finally made an appearance, no one came to his aid despite his cries. They had simply lost trust in him. As Abraham Lincoln so aptly put it, "You can cheat all the people sometimes, some people all the time but not all people all the time." When they find out, there will be a lot of unpleasantness and it is definitely not worth it.

Reason number three why we must be honest is because honesty is good for our health, both mentally and physically. You see when we lie, we must always remember what we have said in case people check on us. Worse still, to cover this lie, we have to create another lie, and another and another. There is no end to it and it can be quite tortuous to remember them all.

But this problem does not arise if we tell the truth. There is a Jewish proverb which says, "If you speak the truth, you don't have to remember." There is no need to hide or worry. Our conscience will be clear and our poor heart can relax and I can assure you, you will sleep well at night. The truth will set you free.

In a world that is so torn by lies and half-truths, it is important for us to be able to say "Yes" for a yes and "No' for a no. Being honest does make a difference to our lives, eventually. Once a house-builder was asked by his boss to build a bungalow. He was given all the neccessary materials to build a beautiful bungalow on a hilltop overlooking the sea. Now, being, dishonest, this man tried to cheat and cut corners. He was putting more sand than cement, the wiring was poorly done, the floor unevened, walls cracking and so forth. He even sold off quality materials in exchange for poor ones. Within months, the hastily-built house was completed.

Then one day, in a dinner given by the company, his boss made a surprise annoucement. Refering to the man, he gladly announced:"In appreciation to your long service to this company, I now with great pleasure present to you the keys to the bungalow you have been building." Gosh, it was only there and then that he realized the cost of his dishonesty but it was too late. Had he been honest, he would have build himself and his family a lovely bungalow.

In many ways, my friends, we may be like this man. God has given us so much of grace to lead a good life but often we have chosen to settle for less. Let us today resolve to do better than that. Let us give honesty a chance by being truthful in our lives. True, it may not be easy. At times, it might even seem foolish to be honest. But I sincerely believe if we perservere in bearing witness to the truth, the truth will vindicate us and in due time, we will be able to experience the abundant blessings that come with it, proving that honesty is indeed the best policy.

(Adapted from a talk given during a Charismatic Renewal Meeting in St Francis De Sales Church, Sitiawan in 1994)

Kejutan di Pagi Buta

Seorang klien menelefon kaunselornya pada jam 2.30 pagi kerana tak dapat tidur.

Klien : Tn kaunselor, kau kena tolong aku. Aku tak dapat tidurlah.
Kaunselor : Tak dapat tidur? Kenapa? Apa masalah kau?
Klien : Masalah duitlah. Masih ingat duit lima ribu yang kau pinjam dekat aku tempoh
hari? Aku dah hilang duit itulah dan sekarang tak tahu macam mana nak pulangkan
pada kau. Sebab itulah aku tak dapat tidur.
Kaunselor : Celaka kau! Kenapa harus beritahu aku di pagi buta ini? Tengok, sekarang aku
pulak yang tak dapat tidur!!!

(Pengajaran: Kaunselor jangan sekali-kali pinjam duit pada klien dan kalau boleh, jangan
buat sesi melalui telefon di pagi buta)

It Only Takes A Spark !

This morning as I was taking a monorail coach to Kompleks Kraf, KL a remarkable thing happened. Seated in front of me were two young burly Indian guys and a sweet looking chinese girl. As the train was about to stop at Hang Tuah station, the two big guys stood up. Thinking that they were about to get off the train, I had instinctively wanted to 'steal' one of the two vacated seats.

But to my surprise, they did not alight from the train. Apparently, from the window of the coach, they had seen some old ladies waiting to board the train and were giving up their seats for them. Their kind action had prompted the sweet young girl next to them to also give up her seat. Being taught a lesson in politeness, how could I not also do a bit of 'sacrifice' by not competing for seats with the respected senior citizens of ours.

In a moment of glory, I had witnessed how goodwill and generosity triumph over self-centredness. Hats off to those who were willing to show what it means to respect the elderly, especially the two young Indian guys. Their thoughtfulness saved the day for the three old ladies and inspired two others, yours truly included, to do likewise. As the proverbial saying goes, 'It only takes a spark to get the fire going!'