9 Ways to Make Your Relationship Last

1. Delineate "yours," "mine," and "ours." If you have finances that should be placed in each of these three categories (for example, you have an inheritance and he has a savings account he accumulated before the marriage, and you also have a checking account to which you both contribute), have an upfront conversation about those assets and what belongs to whom. Moreover, talk about your time away from "together" activities, like he wants to bowl with the guys on Tuesday nights and you want to attend your yoga class on Wednesday. Respect these important delineations. Doing so will make the relationship stronger.

2. Carve out time to be together. Sure, you're busy working and attending meetings, but how important are those things if your relationship falls apart? Make time to do things together that you both enjoy. This could be anything from grocery shopping to taking in a movie. Take regular vacations together -- at least a couple of long weekends and, better yet, a couple of long vacations (more than a weekend jaunt). Commit to a weekly date night and make it as unbreakable as that all-important staff meeting at work.

3. Take care of yourself. Spend time every day on your appearance and your physical well-being. Work out regularly, eat healthy, and stay fit. Not only will your partner like looking at you, but you'll feel better about yourself.

4. Make sure communication goes both ways. Many relationships fail because of misunderstandings. Effective communication skills are necessary if your relationship is going to survive. If there is a hint or vibe that your partner is disconnected or you are unhappy about something, do not ignore those signals or feelings. Approach your mate and suggest an open discussion. You may be frustrated, angry, or hurt and so may he or she, but always stay calm and reasonable. Your goal should be to resolve differences, and the only viable way of doing so is through open and direct communication.

5. Criticize gently. Don't judge too harshly. If you criticize, do so in the same way you would want others to criticize you. Be kind and considerate.

6. Never stop courting one another. Gifts, compliments, and a loving embrace go a long way, especially when they are a surprise. Send unexpected greeting cards, slap a Post-It note where you know your mate will find it, keep those flowers coming in a "just because" way. Treat your partner with the same courtesies you did when you were dating. A terrific mindset is to pretend you are trying to win your partner all over again.

7. Keep the flame burning. Keep your romance alive despite the chaos and craziness life can present from living in the midst of sheer reality. Resolve to offer up romantic suggestions for your partner's pleasure, even if only occasionally, like cooking her favorite meal when you know she's had an impossible day, or entice him into a bubble bath with you just for the fun of it. Little gestures like these from time to time can ensure that the flame you once had burns forever.

8. Spell out your terms of endearment. Call out the expectations for one another in the form of the "terms" of your relationship together. Put them in a contract, if you like. This contract will simply clarify and document those needs and wants that mean a lot to you. For example, though he typically runs late, your agreement might specify those times when he agrees not to be late; she may agree to keep her spending at a certain limit, though she typically has little restraint as she traipses through the mall. Discussing these boundaries, as well as your needs and wants, can prevent either of you from stepping over the line and causing irritation. It is often the disappointments (needs and wants, gone unexpressed) that bring down a relationship.

9. Renegotiate your contract. Your relationship will evolve, and your needs and wants will change right along with it. Once a year,it's a good idea to review, update, or revise your contract with each other -- whether it is verbal or written. Be mindful, however, not to allow such a "contract" to ruin your relationship.

What Women Really Want From Men

God, apparently as a prank, devised two sexes and called them "opposite." The sex war has raged since for 5,ooo years. But it's time we called a truce... starting with men negotiating their terms of surrender.

Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract. Just look at the evidence. What excites men? Food, footy and the Playboy channel. The trouble is, women get all excited about nothing... and then we marry him.

Over half of all marriages today end in divorce, (and let's face it, more ought to!) and the majority of these divorces are initiated by women. (Obviously many marriages break up for religious reasons - he thinks he's a God and well, she just doesn't.)

Marriage statistics are currently lower than Britney Spears's bikini line. And as we now know that marriage suits men much better than it suits women, (married men live longer than single men, have less heart disease and mental problems, whereas single women live longer than married women and have less heart disease and mental problems), I suspect that it's women who are getting PMT. - Pre Monogamy Tension.

As it's in a man's interest to keep us happy, it might be helpful to give them a list of what a woman's looking for in her Knight in Shining Armani.

First and foremost, we want a man who knows that 'mutual orgasm' is not an insurance company. (If he persists in this attitude, may I suggest you adopt the "doggy position" - where he begs - and you just roll over and play dead.)

We also prefer a man who does half the housework and the odd sensitive thing with mange tout. (The way to a woman's heart is through her stomach. That is NOT aiming too high.)

We favour a bloke who talks to us too. I often feel that my small intestine communicates with me more often than my husband. After all, word play is foreplay for females. How else is Woody Allen still getting laid?

But girls, do you know what really makes a man perfect? Being perfect enough to understanding why we're not.

How to Avoid Sabotaging Your Job

In today's workplace, there are more ways to damage your career than ever before. An errant tweet. An erroneous Facebook post. A heated email exchange. All of these can sully an otherwise impeccable reputation, as can a litany of faux pas in front of your coworkers.
Workplace expert Alexandra Levit, author of "How'd You Score That Gig?," shares her insights for avoiding the stumbling blocks and temptations that inhabit our work lives and work spaces.

1. Keep your focus on the networking part of social networking.
She says, "You have to set boundaries as to how you use various social networks (e.g. Facebook for personal, LinkedIn for professional) and make sure you communicate those boundaries so that feelings aren't hurt." While Facebooking has become a part of many people's workdays, Levitt says, "Don't let your boss and coworkers catch you chatting and playing with Facebook applications when you should be working."

2. Avoid sending a tweet in the heat of the moment.
Twitter is a great tool to help raise your reputation. Levitt advises, "Use your real name on Twitter to network with people you wouldn't have the chance to communicate with in real life, and send them valuable information or interesting tidbits about their field. Just don't get caught up in the heat of the moment. Before you post something on Twitter, think about whether you'd want to read it on the front page of the Wall Street Journal.

3. Finding friends at the office is fine -- but don't look for love.
You spend a lot of time at the office, so it may be tempting to become involved with a colleague. She states, "You can pursue friendships in other departments and with friends of your coworkers, but don't ever date a boss or a direct report. And refrain from dating an immediate coworker unless you can handle seeing that person every day if the relationship goes south."

4. Appearances count around the office.
Don't let casual Fridays be your fashion downfall. Levit, also the author of "Success for Hire," says, "Pay attention to what constitutes business casual in your workplace (i.e. what others are wearing) and dress accordingly -- although business casual usually means khakis and a butto- down shirt. And no matter what the trend du jour is, "Don't ever wear short-shorts or flip-flops to work."

5. Practice proper email etiquette.
Almost everyone has trouble managing their inboxes these days, so don't be so quick to send unnecessary emails -- or those that might stir the pot around the office. She counsels, "Only 'reply to all' if every person on the string really needs to hear what you're saying. Always check the list of people in the 'to' and 'cc' lines before sending any e-mail. Don't hit reply too quickly in case that reply-to-all function is accidentally on, and don't use e-mail for negative or controversial discussion."

6. Think before you speak.
Converse carefully with coworkers, especially at first. "Spend more time listening than you do speaking. Show an interest in other people, but don't discuss anything that you wouldn't talk about with your grandmother or religious officiant -- especially with a coworker you don't know extremely well. In general, steer clear of sex, drugs, and politics," she reveals.

7. It's good to be heard -- but not all the time.
Watch your volume control around the office. And don't be afraid to speak up if someone else's volume is distracting you. Levit urges, "Say nicely that you're on the phone with a client and ask if he wouldn't mind keeping it down a bit. Never allow your desire to avoid confrontation affect your work effectiveness."

8. Just say "no" to complaining.
Everyone has complaints at the office, but it may be best to avoid sharing them with coworkers. She admits, "It's good to get negative emotions off your chest by venting to a close friend or family member, but don't complain at work at all -- people won't like you. Instead, think of ways to turn a bad situation into a more positive one and approach your boss and coworkers with solutions rather than problems."

9. Handle alcohol with care.
Sometimes bonding over food and/or drink is part of business. According to Levit, "It's OK to have fun at happy hour with your colleagues, but keep it to a one- or two-drink maximum. Don't drink at lunch or during daytime business meetings, and don't ever get drunk with coworkers even in evening, social settings. You'll end up saying or doing something you'll regret (and your coworkers may not forget)."

10. Know the difference between sharing and oversharing.
There's a fine line between a caring coworker and an overbearing one. She urges, "Develop close friendships with coworkers over a period of time, assessing how much you can trust them before you disclose too much personal information. However, do not assume someone is going to be your best friend just because you work in the same office eight hours a day; and when it doubt, you should err on the side of caution."

Bored To Tears

EVEN if your children are good at amusing themselves most of the times, there may come a day when they get bored. That is when parents have to find ways to keep them occupied.

Try a couple of these ideas here and the boredom will soon be a distant memory.

Children love playing with other children of their own age so if you can, try to arrange some play dates for them.

Parents generally love play dates as it gives them a couple of hours of peace either when the child is at another house or when he is being entertained in his own house by a friend.

Children also love the special attention they get when their own parents play with them. Don’t worry if you aren’t very creative; your children aren’t measuring your imaginative capabilities.

If it is a nice day, take your child out exploring. If you live near a beach, go visit it even if the sun isn’t shining. Children don’t care about getting a little wet – so long as it is not a torrential downpour, a little rain won’t hurt them.

Children also love messing about in the sand. Younger ones will build sandcastles while the older ones will dig moats or play ball games.

Bring a picnic with you as the combination of sea air and exercise will lead to hungry tummies!

Children also love playing with water either swimming in the sea or in a pool. If you opt for the pool, you could take your child to a structured swimming class or else go as a family group.

If swimming isn’t convenient but the weather is nice, take your child out to the local park and play some ball games. Ball games are great fun but they also help teach sharing and team building while developing eye-hand co-ordination and balance.

If your child is small, you may find that he crawls to the ball as this is quicker than walking.

Don’t stress out about how dirty he is getting or what he is crawling in. Children need exposure to dirt and germs as it helps to build up their immune system.

I would suggest, however, that you only allow him to play in a dog-free zone.

If you like gardening, why not take the children out to the back garden. Most youngsters, particularly the younger ones, love to do what mummy and daddy do.

You can give them an area for their "own" garden. Just remember that most children lack patience so whatever you choose to grow, make it fast growing. An example of something that is easy and low maintenance would be cress or radishes. You can cheat by buying a couple of herb plants to plant in between.

For older children, you can let them grow carrots or potatoes in grow bags and small containers. My son loves sunflowers simply as they grow so much taller than him.

Studies also show that children eat more vegetables and fruit if they have grown them themselves.

So, if you like to cook, get your children to help. Younger children can still help you cook – let them stir the bowl and maybe even lick the spoon when you are finished.

If the weather is awful, why not head to the local library. Reading is one of the best educational things you can do for your children.

Not only are you helping them improve their education but you are also opening up a wonderful world of make-believe that may well go with them through adulthood. After all, most Harry Potter readers are quite a bit older than the original intended audience.

You could rent a DVD and make some popcorn and throw your own ‘cinema’ evening. While resorting to the TV all day every day is not good for children, the odd hour here and there never hurt anyone.

Dust off some old board games and sit down as a family to play. Just pick a game that is age appropriate or you may find the boredom quickly turns to frustration and temper tantrums.

Don’t try to overdo it on the educational front though. Children are supposed to have fun playing and will learn something from all sorts of situations.

10 Ways to Be Liked in Your Job Interview

No matter your resume and talents, if you mess up a job interview you won't get that position. In today's tough economy you need every possible edge. As authors of the new book, "I Hate People! Kick Loose from the Overbearing and Underhanded Jerks at Work and Get What you Want Out of Your Job," we see it as a simple equation: You want to be liked -- not hated.

Here are 10 simple things to do that will dramatically increase your chances: from wearing the right expression, to knowing what not to say, to never ever breaking a sweat.

1. Don't be a "smiley face."

Excessive smiling in a job interview is seen for what it is -- nervousness and a lack of confidence. A smiley-face person exudes phoniness, which will quickly be picked up by the interviewer. Instead be thoughtful and pleasant. Smile when there's something to smile about. Do a practice run in front of a mirror or friend.

2. Don't be a small-talker.

Your job is to be knowledgeable about the company for which you're interviewing. Random facts about last night's episode of "Dancing with the Stars" or your favorite blog will not get you the job. Never feel you have to fill an interview with small talk. Find ways to talk about serious subjects related to the industry or company. Pockets of silence are better than padding an interview with random babble.

3. Don't sweat.

You can lose a job by wearing an undershirt or simply a little too much clothing. Sweaty palms or beads on your forehead will not impress. You are not applying to be a personal trainer. Sweat will be seen as a sign of weakness and nervousness. Do a practice run with your job interview outfit in front of friends. The job interview is one place you definitely don't want to be hot.

4. Don't be a road block.

Interviewers are seeking candidates eager to take on challenging projects and jobs. Hesitance and a nay-saying mentality will be as visible as a red tie -- and seen as a negative. Practice saying "yes" to questions about your interest in tasks and work that might normally give you pause.

5. Don't be petty.

Asking the location of the lunchroom or meeting room will clue the interviewer into your lack of preparation and initiative. Prepare. Don't ask questions about routine elements or functions of a company: where stuff is, the size of your cube, and company policy on coffee breaks.

6. Don't be a liar.

Studies show that employees lie frequently in the workplace. Lying won't get you a job. In a job interview even a slight exaggeration is lying. Don't. Never stretch your resume or embellish accomplishments. There's a difference between speaking with a measured confidence and engaging in BS. One lie can ruin your entire interview, and the skilled interviewer will spot the lie and show you the door.

7. Don't be a bad comedian.

Humor tends to be very subjective, and while it may be tempting to lead your interview with a joke you've got to be careful about your material. You probably will know nothing about the sensibilities of your interviewer, let alone what makes them laugh. On the other hand, nothing disarms the tension of a job interview like a little laughter, so you can probably score at least a courtesy chuckle mentioning that it's "perfect weather for a job interview!"

8. Don't be high-maintenance.

If you start talking about the ideal office temperature, the perfect chair for your tricky back, and how the water cooler needs to be filled with imported mineral water, chances are you'll be shown a polite smile and the door, regardless of your qualifications. Nobody hiring today is going to be looking for someone who's going to be finicky about their workspace.

9. Don't be a time-waster.

At every job interview, the prospective hire is given the chance to ask questions. Make yours intelligent, to the point, and watch the person across the desk for visual cues whether you've asked enough. Ask too many questions about off-target matters and you'll be thought of as someone destined to waste the company's resources with insignificant and time-wasting matters.

10. Don't be a switchblade.

Normally the switchblade is thought of a backstabber, often taking credit for someone else's work. In an interview setting, the switchblade can't help but "trash talk" his former employer. If you make it seem like your former workplace was hell on Earth, the person interviewing you might be tempted to call them to find out who was the real devil.

Copyright 2009 Jonathan Littman and Marc Hershon, authors of "I Hate People!: Kick Loose from the Overbearing and Underhanded Jerks at Work and Get What You Want Out of Your Job

How Police Spot A Lie

Forget what you've learned from years of watching cop shows on television. Liars do not have trouble making eye contact. The guilty don't fidget. Culprits don't sweat more. As a matter of fact, research indicates that innocent people tend to be more nervous when they are being questioned because they are very intent on proving that they didn't do it. Liars come in with a script in their heads.

"A lot of different signs of anxiety are mistaken for signs of deception," says Kevin Colwell, a forensic scientist at Southern Connecticut State University in New Haven. He says research shows that even for the innocent, the whole tenor of an encounter with police can make it harder to remember things accurately. "In interrogation the whole goal is to convince somebody or trick them or coerce them whatever it takes to get them to confess to the crime."

Colwell is on the forefront of a movement to change that mindset and convince law enforcement and other interrogators that encounters with suspects are opportunities to get information, not just a moment to elicit a confession. The concern is that if an interviewer is already convinced that someone committed the crime they are investigating, interviewers stop searching for other answers. And that can lead to mistakes.

Seek Information, Not a Confession

This approach, of seeking information rather than a confession, is already well entrenched in Britain. Back in the mid-1980s, after a raft of cases involving false confessions, British courts ruled that officers were no longer allowed to use aggressive techniques — such as lying about evidence — to goad suspects. Interrogations in Britain also have to be taped. This has changed the way UK officers interview a suspect. They chat them up, and start by asking questions to which they already know the answers. The police in Britain say this shift in strategy hasn't reduced the number of confessions.

Colwell and a forensic psychologist at National University in La Jolla, Calif., named Cheryl Hiscock-Anisman have been doing this kind of interrogation research for years. As a general matter, they have found that people who are making up a story prepare an airtight, simple script that is easy to remember. People telling the truth have no script because, basically, they lived the story. So they tend to recall unrelated details and often make mistakes.

Colwell and Hiscock-Anisman have been working on a system that draws that contrast more vividly. And they've been taking their theories out into the field.

They are training police officers across the country to look for verbal patterns instead of fidgets. Just weeks ago they sat down with a group at the San Diego Police Department.

Sergeant Romeo De Los Reyes sat in on the session and, initially, was a little skeptical. "We've always learned that communication is 60- to 90-percent non-verbal," he said. "So this was a different approach to dealing with deception."

Now he sees this approach as another tool for his interview toolbox.

Ask a Simple Question

Basically the system asks an interviewer to pay attention to words and verbal cues rather than focusing on non-verbal communication. Hiscock-Anisman suggests interviewers begin with a non-threatening question. "For example, when I was living in Texas and I was running inmates for one of my studies we asked, 'what was the first day like for you in prison?'" she said. She chose that question for two reasons: it was a vivid memory, and it was very likely to get a truthful answer.

"There's no need to lie about your first day in prison, even if you're an inmate," she said.

The first question is designed to give interviewers a baseline of sorts. It gives them an idea of how much detail someone provides when they are telling a story truthfully. Next, interviewers are supposed to ask the person to tell them about the event under investigation. Then they compare the two stories. Does the suspect use the same number of descriptive phrases? Is there the same kind of recall? All these things are very important when trying to turn a gut instinct about whether someone is lying, into something more rooted in specific patterns.

Then comes the harder question, which Hiscock-Anisman says often separates the liars from the truth-tellers. "I say, now what I want you to do is I want you to go back to that time and I want you to describe every single thing that happened but this time I want you to tell me what happened last and work all the way backwards," she said. She laughs. "A liar is going to have a hell of a time, right?"

Try this the next time your teenager comes home late.

The point is, the research indicates that a person who is being honest tends to provide tons of little facts, anecdotal details that you only get from living a situation. In fact, Hiscock-Anisman says she's found that truth-tellers tend to add about 30 percent more detail than people who are lying.

But there are still practical questions on how law enforcement might use this approach. San Diego's De Los Reyes says the system might work with someone who has to decided to talk, but what about someone who is refusing to cooperate? That's unclear. Even so, the San Diego Police Department has asked Colwell and Hiscock-Aninson to come back, to do more training.

5 Compliments Every Woman Loves To Hear

Words of appreciation spoken directly to your romantic partner go far in paving the way to a happy, healthy relationship. What is sometimes too easily forgotten: disagreements among couples (from trifling to serious) can nearly always be overcome with a few words of gratitude from a partner (a.k.a., a healthy dose of authentic compliments). But it takes more than a "Hey Baby, you're hot" to really win points with your partner here. These are the top five compliments every woman loves to hear. If you can't remember the words verbatim, remember the key principles: appreciation, support and acceptance. This is the triage to a strong, lasting and powerful romantic endeavor.

1.You're Irreplaceable. This is a surefire way to light up your partner’s eyes. Saying these words (with full eye contact, of course) lets the special one in your life know that you know who she is as a person and that you value her as a unique individual. Why is this so effective? Think about when you break up with someone and part ways. One of the worst ramifications of the break-up is finding out, via Facebook update or chattering among friends, that you've been replaced by someone new. On the flip side, hearing from your current partner that you're valued for more than what you look like scores big, meaningful points.

2. You bring light to my life. Yes, we know this sounds like a bit much. But bear with us and let us make one point: relationships can go off course when one or both partners takes for granted the contributions the other makes to their lives. Saying this shows that a man understands and remembers that a women chooses to be with her man and opts to give her energy and time to him. Showing he appreciates that she shares her life with him is symphonic to a woman's ears. If the word light is a tad too over-the-top for you try replacing it with happiness, joy, sunshine—whichever word you can say with genuine meaning.

3. You are perfect just the way that you are. This one takes the gold star award for ability to make a woman’s day, week, month or even year (if, that is, whenever she gets miffed at you for something small she recalls you saying this to her). Ingrid Michaelson sang it best with her lyrics to the song "The Way that I Am." If you really want to make your partner's day, we suggest e-mailing this song or youtube video to the woman you love. Deep, lasting love is unconditional. Showing that you comprehend and embrace this idea will touch your partner way more than superficial comments such as, "Your earrings are cute." Read: Dating A Golddigger

4. I love your (fill in the blank: bright eyes, cute toes, toned arms, sleek legs, silky hair). We did not mean to give the impression above that we women do not like to hear you notice when we put extra effort into looking foxy for our man. But what’s key here is that what you say is genuine. Don’t just pick any random feature. Think about it. What is your partner’s best physical attribute and why do you like it? Telling your partner this will show her you pay attention to details, and to her.

5. I am so proud of you. A big deal-breaker in any relationship can be supporting one another’s life goals or not. Paying attention to your partner’s current goals she is working hard to achieve endear her to you for life. Whether it is paying off her credit card debt, completing a class, putting in extra hours to earn a promotion or even trying to better balance her life, show your loving support for your women. Her heart will melt then and every time thereafter she remembers when you supported along the way to making things happen and brushing off when the chips are down.