Self-Hypnosis

THERE are several stages in self-hypnosis.
The first is to get yourself into the trance state by creating a focus of attention.

You can stare into the flickering of a candle flame, or a black dot on a white background, until the eyes tire.
A more common method is to be seated comfortably with eyes closed, and concentrate on the breathing.

"Notice the sensations as you breathe in and out. Sensations in the muscles," says hypnotherapist George Houguez.

"Notice also the difference in the temperature in your in-breath and out-breath. The moisture content. The sensations at the back of your nose. Sensations in your chest cavity."

During this stage, your awareness would slowly drift away from external influences and distractions towards a more internal awareness.
The next stage is to deepen the trance by becoming more relaxed.

Then, the self-therapy part of the process takes place, where you give yourself suggestions.

These post-hypnotic suggestions are the things that you want to tell yourself when you're fully awake.

They are often "I" statements focused on what is wanted.

In his talk, Houguez used his personal goal of wanting to become a more understanding and tolerant father to his teenage daughter, who had a habit of not picking up after herself, as an example.

His direct suggestion is "I am a good father. I am tolerant and understanding".

When in a trance, while repeating his suggestion, Houguez would visualise himself walking past his daughter's room and seeing all the mess inside -- strewn clothes, unwashed plates, junk food packets.

He creates this scenario in his mind, but with a personal aim of being more tolerant.

If visualisation triggers one to be angry and frustrated, metaphors can be used as substitutes, says Houguez.

One which is relevant to Houguez's case is that of a father bird nursing his young in the nest. The young would eventually grow independent and fly away.

"Maybe that's more accessible -- a young bird -- because I'm not talking about my daughter. I'm recognising a process that goes on in Nature that allows me to be understanding."

The last component of self-hypnosis is the waking up bit, where you will yourself back to awareness while retaining the beneficial effects of the post-hypnotic suggestions.

As one, while in deep relaxation, can doze off during hypnosis, Houguez suggests setting 15 minutes on the timer.

Practice makes self-hypnosis a more familiar and easy process, he adds

10 (More) Reasons You're Not Rich

Here are 10 more possible reasons you aren't rich:

You care what your car looks like: A car is a means of transportation to get from one place to another, but many people don't view it that way. Instead, they consider it a reflection of themselves and spend money every two years or so to impress others instead of driving the car for its entire useful life and investing the money saved.

You feel entitlement: If you believe you deserve to live a certain lifestyle, have certain things and spend a certain amount before you have earned to live that way, you will have to borrow money. That large chunk of debt will keep you from building wealth.

You lack diversification: There is a reason one of the oldest pieces of financial advice is to not keep all your eggs in a single basket. Having a diversified investment portfolio makes it much less likely that wealth will suddenly disappear.

You started too late: The magic of compound interest works best over long periods of time. If you find you're always saying there will be time to save and invest in a couple more years, you'll wake up one day to find retirement is just around the corner and there is still nothing in your retirement account.

You don't do what you enjoy: While your job doesn't necessarily need to be your dream job, you need to enjoy it. If you choose a job you don't like just for the money, you'll likely spend all that extra cash trying to relieve the stress of doing work you hate.

You don't like to learn: You may have assumed that once you graduated from college, there was no need to study or learn. That attitude might be enough to get you your first job or keep you employed, but it will never make you rich. A willingness to learn to improve your career and finances are essential if you want to eventually become wealthy.

You buy things you don't use: Take a look around your house, in the closets, basement, attic and garage and see if there are a lot of things you haven't used in the past year. If there are, chances are that all those things you purchased were wasted money that could have been used to increase your net worth.

You don't understand value: You buy things for any number of reasons besides the value that the purchase brings to you. This is not limited to those who feel the need to buy the most expensive items, but can also apply to those who always purchase the cheapest goods. Rarely are either the best value, and it's only when you learn to purchase good value that you have money left over to invest for your future.

Your house is too big: When you buy a house that is bigger than you can afford or need, you end up spending extra money on longer debt payments, increased taxes, higher upkeep and more things to fill it. Some people will try to argue that the increased value of the house makes it a good investment, but the truth is that unless you are willing to downgrade your living standards, which most people are not, it will never be a liquid asset or money that you can ever use and enjoy.

You fail to take advantage of opportunities: There has probably been more than one occasion where you heard about someone who has made it big and thought to yourself, "I could have thought of that." There are plenty of opportunities if you have the will and determination to keep your eyes open.

Credit Card Catches

Credit card offers these days often come accompanied by pages and pages of fine print. Buried in this legalese are some common catches that could impact you in a major way. From universal default clauses to annual fees, here are the most common credit card traps you should avoid:

Annual Fees – An annual fee is a charge sometimes required by credit card companies for use of an account. These fees usually range between $35-$50 and are most common with subprime credit cards designed for borrowers with poor credit and rewards credit cards. You can see exactly what the annual fee on a credit card offer is by checking out the “Schumer Box” in the rates and terms section of the offer. With a rewards card, you should ensure that the benefits of the mileage or points program outweigh the cost of the annual fee.

Bill Payment Fees – Even with online banking becoming increasingly common, some credit card companies charge extra fees for paying your bills online or by phone. If this is the case with your card, be sure you pay your bill by mail as soon as the statement arrives. You don’t want to have to pay an extra $5 or $10 just to make your credit card payment on time each month.

Grace Period – Standard credit cards commonly have a 20 to 30 day grace period. This is the period of time when you can pay your credit card bill without being charged interest. It is important for borrowers who like to use their credit cards frequently and pay their bills in full each month to have a long grace period. If your credit card doesn’t have a grace period, interest is charged on your debt as soon as you make a purchase.

Introductory Rates – Most credit card offers these days include an introductory rate for the first few months. A 0% offer can be a great deal as long as you know what strings are attached. How long does the introductory rate last? Does it apply to new purchases and balance transfers? Creditors can usually cancel the introductory rate early if you make a late payment. In some cases, you may have to pay interest retroactively on a debt if you haven’t paid it off before the end of the introductory period.

Penalty Rate – If you make a late payment on your credit card, you may have to kiss your good interest rate goodbye for a while. About 75% of credit card providers include a penalty rate clause with their credit card offers. This clause states that your rates can increase dramatically if you make a late payment on the account. The average penalty rate on a credit card is around 23%, a costly increase for a credit card that normally has a 6-12% APR. After about six months of on-time payments, most creditors will consider lowering your APR again.

Universal Default Clause – This increasingly common policy allows creditors to increase your interest rates if you make a late payment on any account, not just on their accounts. For example, your credit card APR could increase to the penalty rate if you make a late payment on an unrelated loan. Your creditors track your payment history with other accounts by checking your credit report. You can avoid problems with this clause by paying all your bills on time each month.

Even with hidden catches, credit cards are one of the easiest and most affordable ways for you to borrow money. As long as you avoid these credit card traps and use your accounts responsibly, you can make the credit card system work for you. Luckily, Credit.com has taken the pain out of reading the fine print! Search for credit cards that meet your requirements online with Credit.com’s credit card chooser tool.

The Breakup Test

To alleviate some of this anxiety, here's a list of 5 questions to ask yourself before you give someone the boot.

Question 1: Has There Been a Major Change in My Life?
Relocation, career change, an illness -- any of these factors can trigger problems in a relationship. If you're stressed out about something, be it a job or family problem, it's all too tempting to generalize these feelings to include your partner. It's very easy to think that if you got out of this relationship you would feel better. In reality, you need to deal with the problem rather than blame it on your partner.

Question 2: What's My Happiness Ratio?
Being blissfully in love with your partner 24/7 is a wonderful concept in theory, but as we all know, real-world relationships rarely live up to these expectations. Many people assume that they have to be 100 percent satisfied with their partners in order to stick with them, but good luck ever finding this perfect scenario! A better strategy would be to adopt the 80 percent rule. Ask yourself: Am I satisfied with my partner 80 percent of the time or more? If the answer is yes, then you're working with pretty good odds. If the answer is no, you may want to consider moving on.

Question 3: Is He/She Abusive?
Abusive behavior comes in many forms. There's physical abuse where someone hits, slaps or shoves you. A verbally abusive partner degrades you with harsh words and insults. And the most difficult to identify and pinpoint: psychological abuse. This form of abuse can involve overly controlling behavior, emotional blackmail, and episodes of extreme jealousy. If your partner engages in any of the above behavior, don't just walk -- run from the relationship.

Question 4: Have I Expressed My Frustration?
Many of us think that if our partner was right for us, he/she would be able to understand our needs intuitively without us ever having to communicate. While it would be great if our partners could just read our minds, the truth is that few of us are telepathic. Good communication is required in every relationship. So before you give your partner their walking papers, make sure to discuss your doubts and concerns so they have a chance to make it up to you.

Question 5: Am I Willing to Work at It?
Whatever your gripes or complaints, there's one factor that can make or break your union: your mutual desire to work on the relationship. If you're not both committed to improving your quality of life together, there's very little hope for the future. And remember, actions speak louder than words. If both of you make a concerted effort to work on the relationship and make the necessary changes that are required, there's really no reason to call it quits.

12 Active Listening Tips

1. Mentally put yourself in other person’s shoes.

2. Keep the conversation on what the speaker says, not on what interests you.

3. Spend more time listening than talking.

4. Let the speaker talk. Do not dominate the conversation and do not interrupt incessantly.

5. Pay attention, never become preoccupied with your own thoughts when others talk, take brief notes to concentrate on what is being said.

6. Do not finish the sentence of others.

7. Ask questions, but do not answer questions with questions.

8. Be aware of biases and perceptions. Control your biases and validate your assumptions.

9. Encourage the speaker, provide feedback and paraphrase to show you are listening.

10. Plan responses after the other person has finished speaking, not while they are speaking.

11. Analyze by looking at all the relevant factors, ask clarifying and open-ended questions.

12. Summarize – walk the person through your analysis.

Effective PowerPoint Presentation

1. Hints for a successful presentation:
Plan carefully
Do your research
Know your audience
Time your presentation
Practice your presentation
Speak comfortably and clearly

2. Effective PowerPoint Slides
Use design templates
Standardize position, colors and styles
Include only necessary information
Limit the information to essentials
Content should be self-evident
Use colors that contrast
Be consistent with effects, transitions and animation
Too many slides can lose your audience

3. Text guidelines
Generally no more than 6 words a line
Generally no more than 6 lines a slide
Avoid long sentences
Larger font indicates more important information
Font size generally ranges from 18 to 48 point
Be sure text contrasts with background
Fancy fonts can be hard to read
Words in all capital letters are hard to read
Avoid abbreviations and acronyms
Limit punctuation marks

4. Clip Art and Graphics
Should balance the slide
Should enhance and complement the text, not overwhelm
No more than two graphics per slide

Elements Of An Effective Speech

Anyone can give a speech. However, not everyone can give an effective speech. To give an effective speech there are 6 elements you should consider.

Be Prepared - Being prepared is by far the most important element. How many times do you practice your speech? As a general rule, you should spend about 30 hours of preparation and rehearsal time for every hour you will be speaking. Use a tape recorder or videotape yourself. This will help you to get an accurate picture of how you speak.

Gift of Yourself - Use personal examples and stories in your speech whenever possible. Make sure your stories help to emphasize or support your point. The stories must match your message. Use examples from your personal and professional life to make your point. In either case be willing to give of yourself by sharing some of yourself with the audience.

Stay Relaxed - To stay relaxed you should be prepared. Also, focus on your message and not the audience. Use gestures, including walking patterns. Practice the opening of your speech and plan exactly how you will say it. The audience will judge you in the first 30 seconds they see you.

Use Natural Humour - Don't try to be a stand up comedian. Use natural humour by poking fun at yourself and something you said or did. Be sure NOT to make fun of anyone in the audience. People will laugh with you when you poke fun at yourself but don't over do it.

Plan Your Body & Hand Positions - During the practice of your speech look for occasions where you can use a gesture. Establish three positions where you will stand and practice not only how to move to them but where in your speech do you move. Pick three positions, one on center stage, one to your right, and one to your left. Do not hide behind the lectern. When you do move maintain eye contact with the audience.

Pay attention to all details - Make sure you have the right location (school, hotel, room & time). Make sure you know how to get to where you are speaking. Ask how large an audience you will be speaking to. Make sure you bring all your visual aids and plenty of handouts. Arrive early so you can check out where you will be speaking and make any last minute adjustments.

It is very important that you pay attention to even the smallest details. You can never overplan. Remember, "He who fails to plan is planning for failure"